#spotify is not so subtly telling me i have a problem

[sleepanonymous]

Oh really? I couldn't get enough of Vore, huh? Good fucking god, shout out I guess to Sleep Token for naming my 2023 most listened to song by them after one of my squicks 👍

Anyway, shout out to Sleep Token's top 1.0-0.1% gang 🖤

[ialwaysgobacktoit]

Azriel surprises Gwyn for her birthday PART. 6

Guys just so you know i need to think of a better name for this bc like THIS IS GETTING BIIIIG (I have a playlist on spotify called "what would gwynriel sing" and i think i'll draw inspiration from there lol)

IT'S GWYN'S POV AGAIN (and this one's a little shorter lol i'm sorry... Rhys is in this chapter bc i honestly share the headcanon that Gwyn and Rhys would be close friends!)

MY GIRLS: @starbornsinger @madie2200 @katiebellf here it is!! And check out the Chapter List here

Gwyn couldn’t deny. She was nervous. That morning the words just rushed out about leaving the library, because she truly felt inspired by Diane’s words. She had spent the previous night awake, even if Emerie and Nesta had long fallen asleep, thinking about what she had to do next. She was feeling braver. Maybe it was because that was the best birthday she had since Sangravah, or perhaps ever, due to the circumstances. She still missed Catrin like crazy during the day, still felt that familiar ache in her chest when she worked at the library in the afternoon, or went training in the morning. But somehow, after everything that has happened in the evening, the lingering image of her sister started being more of a comfort, a companion, than the sorrow and guilt she was accustomed to.

Still, she was nervous.

She did really want to leave the library, and Clotho seemed happy, maybe even proud, to let her go. Merrill didn’t care as long as she kept working for her, at least a couple hours a day. One day, Gwyn thought that would change too. But for now, one step at a time. The night she went to the Town House and dined with the Inner Circle was one of many small steps Gwyn’s been giving these last few months towards more autonomy, independence, and strength. Towards the life she wanted for herself. And now, the day where she decided to move out of the library was the day she took another one.

And Azriel… Honestly, she thought she would be more scared about the prospect of having a mate than she actually did. Most of all, she was happy. She felt lucky and had the confidence that if anything were to happen between the two of them, they would take it slow, at her pace. She wouldn’t have it any other way. That if Azriel were to find out about the bond any time soon; or if she would summon enough courage to tell him. Because if he did know, he would’ve said something by now, wouldn’t he?

Yep. She was very nervous.

What she dreaded the most was the fact that Azriel, well, he may not feel the same once he found out. The Cauldron could be wrong, after all. And all these last months of getting closer to each other, training in companionable silence, laughing together, bantering… She was more than grateful for their friendship, but she knew that Azriel still had some things to figure out – about Elain. If he truly still felt something towards her, that was enough to strain Gwyn’s hopes for the moment. To maintain the quiet feeling to herself, and what it meant; that she was indeed worthy of happiness not only alone, but with another one.

She tried to push all those feelings aside as she was getting ready for dinner at the River House, the High Lady and Lord’s official estate. She looked at herself in the mirror, spinning side to side. It wasn’t much – after all, she didn’t have any clothes besides her robes, nightgowns and training leathers – but the outfit the House provided was more than enough. Her baggy turquoise linen pants and her white, loose crop top made her extremely comfortable, even if the latter was slightly shorter than what she was accustomed to.

She still wore the necklace Azriel re-gifted her. When he told her a few months back about the whole story, she truly understood him. He was in a bad place at the time, but so did she. And even if he had indeed made a mistake, she was glad to have it now. To know that someone gave it to her willingly, that was the thought she held on to. First person considered or not. And besides, it looked great against her freckled skin.

A gentle knock on the door of her new bedroom sounded. “Gwyn, you ready?”

“Yeah, come in”

Nesta opened the door and something sparked in her eyes as she stared at Gwyn through the mirror.

“You look beautiful, girl”

She spun on her heels and smiled at Nesta.

“I do, don’t I?”

They both laughed as they linked their arms and left the room.

“So” Nesta begun, as they walked towards the main entrance together “How are you settling in?”

“It’s very cozy, and I just love that view. The House is providing me everything I need at the moment. Thank you for inviting me to stay.” She gave her sister a grateful smile

“Well, I was serious; you can stay with us for as long as you want.”

“That means a lot.” Gwyn couldn’t contain her smile as she gently nudged her head against her sister’s.

“Don’t mention. I know you’d do the same for me.” And Nesta was right. Without thinking twice, Gwyn would have done the same for both of her newfound sisters. She was so grateful and thrilled their paths had crossed this way.

“By the way” Nesta mentioned innocently when they reached the common area “The room you chose, well, that’s three doors up from Azriel’s. If you have a problem with that, feel free to say it.”

And as she was summoning his presence, that was the moment the Shadowsinger came to vision, talking to Cassian in the balcony – waiting for them.

Gwyn drew on a breath, staring straight at him. When he caught her eye, she couldn’t help her smile. And when his eyes glittered, scanning her from head to toe, she answered quietly to her sister:

“No. I think that’ll be fine.”

*******

The River House was beautiful. Gwyn admired it as the four of them stood by the front door. It was big, but the decoration made it seem comfortable and cozy, despite its size. A true home, Gwyn thought.

Feyre opened the door, a warm smile instantly on her face.

“Come in!”

As soon as they stepped on the entrance hall, Gwyn marveled at the big painting on display. It was a portrait of Nesta as she held the line at the Pass of Enalius. Her cunning eyes seemed to look directly at anyone who came in, daring and challenging. “This is amazing.” She said, tearing her eyes from the image at last and looking at Feyre. Cassian and Nesta had already entered the living room and Azriel stood by the doorway, lingering.

Feyre was still smiling at her when she answered. “Thank you very much, Gwyn. I have others I can show you later, if you’d like.”

“I would love to. You have a beautiful home.” And she could barely conceal the emotion in her eyes as Feyre held her hand and sighed gratefully. She, maybe more than anyone, was well aware of how lucky she was to have such a family.

“We do.”

It was just when she reached the living room and beheld all of those who Feyre and Rhysand loved the most she felt Azriel’s presence still a few steps behind her, his eyes fixed upon her. A tendril of shadow curled up slightly at her wrist, as if saying We’re here. So she looked back for half a second before entering further into the room, only enough to meet his cryptic gaze and give him a half-smile. And couldn’t help the sparkling feeling in her chest when he gave her a reassuring nod.

*****

The night was going on peacefully. Gwyn didn’t say much, and it was rather content in observe. That way, she didn’t feel exposed, and also could get to know the Inner Circle better: their dynamics and bantering, how they acted around each other and discussed both serious and light topics. Elain, for example, was sitting in a chair in the corner, drink in hand. She only joined for dinner, ate quietly and then excused herself from the table for a long time. Rhys and Feyre took turns in watching Nyx, since this evening he went to sleep early. Emerie and Mor were having what seemed to be a very intimate conversation, knees touching and heads close, and Nesta and Cassian, well… They were being their usual selves.

And then she landed her eyes on the Shadowsinger. He was definitely the quietest of them all, even if during dinner he had participated in the more serious subjects of conversation and exchanged a few casual words with Gwyn. She could observe enough to notice he didn’t once glance at Elain, or her at him, and that they kept their distance. He actually seemed to have spent the evening doing the same thing Gwyn was, which was observing; except for him it was natural, a second skin. He certainly had enough time these hundred years to know well about the rest of his family, while she was doing that precisely to learn more about them. If it was easy for her to be like this, for him was instinct.

She couldn't stop but detain herself on the details of his face, though, as he now spoke to Mor, who had subtly approached him. He wore that inexpressive mask, but she could see the way his brows were slightly furrowed, his jaw set just slightly... There was something concerning him, making him uneasy. She wondered, maybe for the tenth time, when she would tell him. Or if she should let him find out by himself. And again, her heart fluttered as he put his hands in his pockets and nodded along, listening to Mor.

How could the Cauldron have chosen this? To have defined them as mates... He was the one who saved her, who’d seen her low, who helped her at the very worst moment of her life. And although she would be forever grateful for it, she was aware he had enough on his plate – to burden him with her feelings... She didn't know what to do. It was at that moment their eyes locked across the room. She didn't realize she had still been staring, and quickly darted her eyes away.

Only to meet with Rhysand’s staring at her from across the table.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

Oh, shit. Shit. Gwyn contained her gasp. He heard her. She didn't know for how long, but he could read her thoughts.

I was just going to ask you if you were feeling okay.

She knew what he meant. But still...

"Please. Please don’t say a word". She managed to whisper to that presence in her mind.

He doesn't know? She could feel his curiosity. Although they were still staring at each other, his face yielded nothing.

"I don't think so. Please, just…"

Don't worry, Gwyn. I won't tell him.

She could've cried in relieve. "Thank you."

He only nodded at her and raised his glass, and she could feel his presence fading from her mind.

*****

When they arrived at the House of Wind, a few hours later, Gwyn was still a little uneasy. She needed to learn how to shield her mind properly; even if she felt she trusted Rhys’s word, she couldn’t feel relaxed at the thought that someone else knew about what she’d only recently discovered and were still trying to figure out.

She could barely stare at Azriel when they flew all the way back. They remained silent all the way to the House of Wind, and her gaze remained fixed on the city landscape below them, or on the skies above. Never on him or their closeness, even if she’d caught him glancing at her a few times. They landed just a few minutes after Nesta and Cassian. When she meant to let go of his hand, he held it just for a moment longer:

“Did you have fun tonight?”

She nodded, managing to bring a smile upon her face. She didn’t want him to see how nervous she was; they were never like that around each other.

“A lot. Your family is very…”

“Extravagant?”

“I was going to say kind. But they might be a little extravagant, too.”

The corner of his lips tugged upward, and she let out a quiet laugh. “Are you going to sleep now?”

“In a few hours, maybe. I think I’ll hit the training ring first.”

She nodded. His shadows swirled a little at his shoulders. She seemed to forget about her nervousness for a second as she noticed his slightly furrowed brows, as if he was concentrating: “You know you don’t have to restrain them, if it tires you.”

“They should behave better.” It was all he grunted back, slightly annoyed at his dancing shadows.

“Well, I don’t mind at all. I like them. So at least around me, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

The seconds her eyes held his stare were enough to make Gwyn feel like she could burst – or touch him, again. So she turned away and smiled over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Az.”

All she felt before reaching the stairway was a tendril of shadow gently curling around her arm.

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Only Time Makes It Human 3

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: hi and sorry for the long wait, I had to squish my brain real hard to get this chapter out, but I hope you like it, I decided a chapter about growth wasn't enough and y'all gave me an idea for angst so I just splashed it there and we'll delve into it more on the next chapter. 10/10 the idea works well enough for me to bring Levi and reader together even more. So don't call me out on being random. This is raw, un fucking edited, I'll edit later 💗

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Tags: modern au, college au

Warnings: mentions of blood

Special kudos if you figure out why I used this gif ;)

The problem with your feet being numb in the morning when you woke up wasn't supposed to phase you as much as it currently did, but the weathering cold that had barged its way to your room silently begged to have you feel something other than the everlasting whirlpool of regret.

Which was -unsurpisingly- something you had been spiraling into a lot lately.

Your ringtone -or rather the caller that had caused it to go off- nontheless remained mercilessly unforgiving to your current condition. The brute vibrations that accompanied your once favorite song ripped through the air and bounced on every wall inside your room before it wooshed inside your eardrums.

You fucking finally had to change that ringtone, you thought.

Your feet, moist and heavy as they buzzed with the aftermath of the coma-like sleep you had just gone through, struggled to wiggle from underneath the comfort of your blankets. Your hands instinctively rubbed the underside of your nose as you sniffled all the cold of the room around you. Throwing the blanket off of you, you groaned at the non stop ringing of your phone.

The few steps to your desk felt like an eternity of having to walk with a badgy weight on your feet, but the faint feeling in your body didnt come to an halt even after you picked the device in your hands. Your eyes couldn’t really adjust well to make out the ID of the caller, of course, sleep hadn't rubbed off your eye lids yet, but still you slid the emerald button to acceptance with no resistance.

“Hey” you sleepingly moaned.

“Hellooo! (Y/n)!” Hange called enthusiastically for the other line, her joyous voice piercing your eardrums “Where are you booo?”

“I just woke up why?” you yanwed.

Pacing your eyes around your room you noticed the dull daylight creeping in through your blinds, signaling the gloom of another potentially snowy day for Trost. You blinked as you took notice of the few articles of soon to reside in the laundry bin clothing as well as the dress that hung from your closet door.

And then, it all snapped.

“Oh. shit!”

Anxiety rushed through you like a bullet to the gut, gushing numbness and waves of cold sweat from the point of impact. Forcefully, you ripped your phone off your ear and double tapped at screen to make it light up. The date read December 25, and below it, laid numerous notifications of your alarm and even a pop up reminder from last night to not forget the food you had to take with you.

Thinking back to that, your head started spinning like crazy, the familiar, yet bizarre feeling of your stomach dropping overtaking you. You hadn't cooked, rather, you had spent all night drinking and sulking on your own, cursing yourself for all your choices up to date.

"Yes, oh shit!” Hnge laughed “Oh! You forgot?”

"Hangeeee stop screaming oh my god no I didn't forget, I'm on my way okay?"

A little yelp came out of your mouth as the cable of your charger prevented you from taking another step closer to your bedroom door; letting out a curse under your breath though you quickly unplugged your phone, and rushed over the mess of your room and out to your living room.

"But you said you just woke up."

"Ahhh," you scratched your head, feeling your loose t-shirt sliding down your shoulder "no!" You said, then in a sterner voice you repeated "No! I uhm, I was just-"

Your poor excuse to communicate after having just woken up didn't startled Hange. If anything, she seemed to find it amusing because she burst into joyous, bubbling laughter at the sound of your despair. And you couldn't blame her for it; were you under any other circumstance you would be laughing with yourself as well.

"It's fine. Erwin and I are making a cake for shorty so if you want to cook here you have plenty of time yet. I'm going to say it though, we could really use your pastry skill."

You let out a sigh as you took your phone off your ear and pressed on the speaker icon. Your hands worked fast to grip onto the hem of your shirt and then, even faster, they managed to pull it off of you in shift movements.

"I'm just going to have a shower, dress up and I'll be on my way. It shouldn't take more than 30 minutes."

Hange exhaled in utter relief through the phone and you could practically feel her sheepish smile as Erwin shouted a big fat 'thank you' from the depths of his kitchen. Bringing out a hand to grap your shower cap -the only shower product you loathed using- you ripped the cap off its place on your cabinet and messily shoved all of your hair in it in rushed movements.

"Got any questions before I hit the shower Hange?"

"Please ask her" Erwin was heard and you cocked your head to the side at the sound.

"No Erwiin, we got it under control okay?"

"No we don't."

Shaking your head to prevent yourself from zoning out, you clicked your tongue before opening your mouth to address your two friends. Asking as to what they were referring to was easy, although it was obvious that Hange felt confident in succeeding in the task Erwin was referring to. Knowing Hange though, you thought you could guess perhaps what exactly was going on.

"Please don't mix food coloring with spinach juice to make the cake green like two years ago."

Erwin's laughter was pretty much evident through the other line as Hange went on blubbering about how she wasn't going to do it again giving extreme emphasis as to why she couldn't understand the reason it tasted bad in the first place but would go with what you said nevertheless. At that point Erwin was laughing hysterically, telling you how Hange was once again, indeed, thinking about it and the sound of his laughter grew even louder than Hange's words.

"Do you have food coloring?"

"Yes Hange I have food coloring."

"Plea-pleaee bring some. Dammit Erwin what's gotten into you- gotta go (y/n) see you in a while."

The beeping sound from the other line left you little to no time to properly reply to your friends with a much wanted greeting, though, you didn't think much of it. You were going to spend the whole day with them, so getting upset over not getting the chance to say goodbye over the phone wasn't something that should have caused guilt to spurt in you.

But surely, this wasn't the only cause of your overly bubbling guilt. The actual cause of the knot in your gut laid to the fact that within the time span of two weeks you had managed to to drag Levi and yourself into a rather steep rabbit hole. There was going to be a serious impact of your relationship with your friends had the two of you made it known to them; everyone would scold you -and they'd be right at that- and maybe this time they'd pick sides as to what wrong or not. And you didn't want that.

Although you secretly wished everyone went with Levi. Or at least you had come to the conclusion that that was what you deserved.

You had been feeling bothered and repulsed by what had caused you to make out with him that night, given the fact that you had been the one that initiated the kiss. And just as much, you had been feeling furious over Levi allowing this to ever happen. But looking back at it now, you couldn't say you regretted getting close to him even in such way. And that was probably the most infuriating thing of all.

Nevertheless, there was also the fact that you would be seeing Levi today and frankly you didn't know what to do with that. Should you act like everything was fine? Should you simply ignore him? Was Petra going to be with him?

Speaking of Petra it would be best if you straight up let her know of what had happened. Acting shady with another woman's man behind her back was outrageous for anyone to do and you hated being in that position like the next person.

Your stomach twisted dangerously at your spiraling thoughts, but you chose to ignore the tight knot, attributing the loud growl you had heard to one caused by your excessive hunger.

Perhaps, your shower was going to help you sort out your thoughts and intentions.

With a twist of your wrist the water started sprinting out of the tap in your shower. Your eyes were fixated on your phone, your thumb roaming through Spotify in hopes to find the perfect song to company your bath with. You simply said good for a Christmas playlist that Spotify suggested, tapping on that, a list of numerous jolly songs popped up in your screen and you simply pressed the big shuffle button before putting your head on your cabinet.

..

The walk to Erwin's house was very much and as previously expected, quiet. The sidewalks on your way were all covered in sugary white snow, decorating each different apartment complex in the non urban side of Trost along with the standard holiday decorations.

Taking a deep sigh you brought the back of your finger to the metallic button of Erwin's doorbell. Blinking rationally, you looked around at the marble front door frame of his apartment complex, your blood subtly rushing to your feet. You dragged the tip of your combat boot over the snow, curling your toes on the fuzzy material that covered the inside of the shoe.

You were beginning to become impatient as you waited on the doorframe, Erwin was taking way too long to open the door and you were practically freezing out there; the dress you wore did almost nothing to keep you warm. Despite you taking precautions by wearing a cardigan and the leather coat that you had snatched from your brother, the cold still pierced through your sheer black pantyhose, as if your efforts to stay warm were ridiculous.

The sound of footsteps was what startled you next but still your head didn't turn to the source of the buzzing noise. Your nose simply nuzzled to the scarf you had wrapped around yourself as you rubbed your face onto its warm fleece material.

"Uh, hi."

This time you could help but turn around to check who had thrown a greeting at you.

A familiar puff of ginger hair greeted you as you snuck your nose out of the edge of your scarf, two big and round hazel eyes stared right at you as you blinked rapidly back at them.

Great. Just great.

"Hey."

Petra wiggled her nostrils once to the left and then to the right, seemingly scratching the awkwardness in the atmosphere away. She blinked her eyes a few times into yours, her lips pursing together slightly as if she was coming up with a good comeback to your greeting, yet it never came.

"uhm, what's up?"

Your fingers slightly clutched the edges of your coat, crossing over your chest as you felt your jaw start clattering. Your pupils gathered at the corners of your eyes, catching small glimpses of Petra as you eyed her up and down.

She too had opted for a cardigan and a dress. A very safe choice if you were in a place to express your opinion but hers, despite being adorned with numerous tiny and dainty coral and red flowers, looked so thin and tule like and it barely covered her thighs, so much that you felt a pinch of concern run through you that you were slow to decide on whether you wanted to brush off or not.

"I'm.. good." She managed to let out, but you noticed how her lip trembled.

She was definitely shivering, if that wasn't concerning enough you didn't know what was, and she looked so frail and out of place that she could definitely beat you at it. Plus, the lack of a warm jacket struck somewhat of a nerve at you. Even feeling so much guilt over being in her presence you couldn't help but feel your motherly friend instincts wash over you; why wasn't she wearing something warmer? And why were you seconds away from taking off your jacket to offer it to her when you knew she wouldn't even accept it.

"Damn, Erwin's sure taking long, do you want my jacket?"

"Uh-"

Once again and mostly out of instinct, your finger tapped over the metallic button, covered by the edge of your sleeve. Suddenly, the familiar buzz of the intercom growled in your eardrum and you shook your head to its direction automatically.

"I'm so sorry!" Erwin said. "Come in!"

"Hey Erwin!" Petra spoke before you had a chance to say your wanted reply.

Even if you couldn't see him, you knew how shocked of an expression he was wearing.

Taking the few steps into the apartment complex's yard, you rushed to the next door and waited for the known buzz which signaled that Erwin had finally let you inside. With awkwardness spread over your face though, you pushed your lips into a thing line, holding the door back as you signaled to Petra that she should be the first to come inside.

"Thank you." She muttered.

"No prob."

You watched as Petra hesitated to push the elevator button; with a set of trembling fingers her palm rested only a few inches before the metallic button that was lit in a red arrow. With another smile you came closer to her and went to check in which floor the elevator was currently at. Whether she flinched intentionally or not, you didn't know.

"Wanna share a lift? It'll be a while till it comes down again." You offered.

"Uhm, yeah okay."

Once she responded, Petra tapped onto the elevator button with her thumb.

Petra looked at you and clung onto the edged of her cardigan once again. You took notice of how she looked a little more casual and unkept, despite being dressed on point; the lack of a jacket and her tousled naturally wavy bob betrayed an unwillingness to be present to today's event and it's was painfully obvious.

"I'd like to" Petra hesitated, "I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Oh sure, what is it about?"

"It's about Levi."

Dead silence fell as Petra didn't dare turn her gaze to your direction. The little screen over the elevator button still showed that your lift was taking long to come down as if it mocked you, but you couldn't find it in you to tap into the button once again.

"Would you like to grab some coffee with me tomorrow?"

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

To say that you were panicked would be an exaggeration and probably a degradation to Petra's feelings. Her breathing was heavier than your own, frankly because for her it must have been even more uncomfortable than it was for you. You couldn't blame her for that.

Nonetheless you couldn't help but be genuinely curious as to what she had wanted to tell you? It was evident that she knew something. What's slipped you was whether or not she want to bash you for your actions.

She had every right to do so.

"Yeah. Of course, uhh, tomorrow sounds good."

....

Christmas day wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be when Hange had announced to you that Levi would be coming alone with Petra.

For starters, the food was in plehtora; Erwin had cooked your jolly favorite roasted chicken, Mike and Nanaba had brought an enormous plate of their creamiest, most mouth watering souffle, Levi had made some god tasty pumpkin soup and Hange had taken actually good care of fixing a custom non alcoholic cocktail to each one of you.

All of this drool worthy deliciousness had caused, and non surprisingly at that, your body to submit in that peaceful demi slumber that tagged along with the fullness of your tummy. Frankly, it had been so long since you had enjoyed such a good meal and you didn't think you would be enjoying another one until Mikasa's birthday.

Thus, the cool evening sir that entered the room when Erwin opened the window door to the balcony, found you laying on the floor right next to the tangerine fire that danced in the fireplace. You could faintly feel Nanaba's hand scratch at the roots of your hair, her almond tipped nails slowly running in purringly mellow lines over your sculp that sent you to pure delight.

Levi's eyes danced over your form more than he'd like to admit so. Ever so slightly his pupils would travel up and down your thighs and calfs, examining the material of your sheer back pantyhose but whatever emotion overcame him wasn't the animalistic lust he had expected to feel.

He felt rather guilty. And not only for staring at your legs. For bringing himself upon the situation he was in.

It wasn't easy to think with a throbbing head but in Levi's world this poor condition was translated as a prompt to try to get out of whatever shithole he had found himself in. Maybe. Because there was also a certain part inside of him that bashed him to no end about his previous and degrading actions to both Petra's and his person, which part he completely and rationally justified.

With a quick glance at Petra, Levi brought his hand to his face to hopefully wipe any of the numbness his guilt had got him feeling. Petra seemed to enjoy herself as per usual. With her soft smiles and the mellow sway of her hair over her shoulder, she'd often reach for the hem of her white wooly cardigan to cover her shoulder while cooing into the soft material and onto the side of the couch she was seating in.

It would be hard for anyone to guess that the two of them had broken up.

She was unsurprisingly sitting as far off him as she could; the fact that they hadn't announced to anyone they had broken up because they didn't want the Christmas party at Erwin's to be ruined didn't mean she owned Levi to act like his faithful and bubbly dog.

It happened that night after he had stood her up at the movies.

Levi had gathered all of his determination and had managed to push all thoughts aside from the back of his brain, as he was despairate to ignore that feeling your make out session had brushed on him. He had walked up to Petra, all dissolved and stoic, his chest swelling with anxiety. He had stared at her with an agape mouth, he had been muttering words so honest that he felt were fatally brute and Petra had digested them all without any difficulty.

And before he knew it, he was over and done.

Petra hadn't cried, she hadn't wept, she had only answered him with a smile that she'd rather just be friends with him if things weren't going to work between them.

And to an extended it tortured the ravenette, mostly because he remembered the hurt look in her face before she had managed to hide it with her usual mellow smile.

Taking another sigh, Levi stared at Petra's hand while she played silently with the lettuce hem of her dress. Her hazel orbs were fixed on you, who laid before the fireplace like a stray cat on the tire of car during a snowy day. Levi couldnt exactly place the exact emotion behind Petra's expression, though it would be perceived by most as a saddened one. There were specs of regret gathering at the corners of her eyes, reluctance gathered at her slightly puckered lips and a hint of determination to the front tips of her eyebrows.

Maybe Petra's inner strength was something that Levi deeply admired.

Levi made no effort whatsoever to reach out to her to ask what was going on, not even to show some seemingly convern. The more he looked at Petra, the more it felt utterly wrong for him to simply stand next to her, knowing what he had do behind her back. Whether he loved her or not, it wasn't like him to be caught up in such stupid drama.

"Shorty!"

Levi looked up to an enthusiastic Hange with much tousled hair and a big grin on her face that spread from one ear to another. With another, more thorough glance, he quickly became aware of the cake in her hands; a cake covered in white frosting, decorated with soft pastel green letters that wrote a simple birthday wish to his person. He couldn't help but let out a sigh.

"For you!" Hange smiled further "Erwiiin, come light up the candles!"

Looking around the room he noticed how all of his friends' gazes were on him. Mike and Nanaba remained cuddled on the couch opposite to the one he was on, Petra was mellowy smiling at his eith her cherry lips pressed into a thin line and you were fiddling with what seating arrangement was most comfortable for you at the moment.

"We're celebrating another year where you went up in age and down in height, how delightful." Mike commented, causing laughter to spark between the small group of people around you.

After the spur of happiness died out your eyes met with Levi's, briefly and then they traveled anywhere else in the room altogether.

"Let's light up the candles!" Smiled Erwin as he flicked the small metallic button of his lighter.

"I don't want too many, shit. The last time you took my lungs out."

"Not our fault that you're old Levi!" You spoke, earning a half smile by the ravenette.

"Very old!" Hange agreed.

"Tch, I'm only turning twenty six shut your shitty mouths!"

The warm light of the fire licked each waxed strip of wick that hung from the candles, illuminating Hange's face in warm orange light. Once done with lighting up the candles, Erwin plopped himself in between Levi and Petra, crossing his hands over his knees as he shifted his bottom in the most uncomfortable seating on a couch you had ever witnessed.

You merely caught a glimpse of Hange kneeling before Levi as you dragged your gaze over to Petra, fixating it on her for the thousandth time this evening.

There only was one thing in your head that bounced between the crevices of your brain like crazy. Just one simple words that held so much behind it.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow you were going to apologize to Petra and try to make amends. Being the despicable toxic person you had turned into didn't suit you. Owing up to your mistakes was the first step to redemption and you weren't afraid to take it.

As you fell into a spiral of thoughts and guesses about tomorrow though, you couldn't help but subtly ignore the cheerful sing alone to Levi's birthday song.

.....

"Thank you for coming!"

Petra's hair was messily swaying all over her face, falling a direct victim to the frozen December air, yet she smiled as if nothing was going on.

The park around you was covered in snow. White was primarily the color that was plastered on everything, save for the dry stems of trees that were once covered in forest green leaves.

Your peeping hot coffee did nothing to warm up your hands, despite your best wishes and in the moment you had called victim to some specs of jealousy over Petra's gloved hands as they rubbed soothing over her own coffee.

"Of course, I had been meaning to talk to you as well."

"Oh you did?" Petra spoke with her eyebrows following the little surprise that was masking her tone. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd come."

"Yeah about that-"

"Can I please go first?" Petra cut you off.

Her huge hazel eyes that blinked into yours from your left side left you little to no space to deny her wish. Thus, by taking a sigh, you pushed past the quick beating of your heart and gestured her to go first with a kind smile on your face.

"Okay oof, thanks!" Petra huffed "look. Levi and I broke up. Now I know that you'll say it doesn't concern you, and frankly it'd be ideal if it didn't, but I know it does, because Levi explained to me what happened."

At that Petra slightly paused.

Naturallye first thing that came to your mind was the need to express an apology. Although, you weren't that sure if Petra would perceive the apology as sincere, you felt like you ought to give one to her. Yet her eyes blinked into yours further as she took another turn down the path you were walking on and you wordlessly followed asuit.

"I love Levi you know," she sighed "but Levi loves you. You're not over each other and it's painfully obvious, I mean you did just collided to eachother quite literally, not giving a single care about whether you couldn't have each other or not."

A sheer red colored tint painted your cheeks at her words.

Your skin pricked you, burning up a stingingly painful path to all of the pores on your face as shame took the form of an earth shattering wave. Your heart started heaping beats, hollering into the depths of your chest and you could hear it bounce inside your eardrums as if your whole body was hollow save for the jolting organ and the echo of the sound it made was bouncing around each fleshy wall.

Petra was right and you couldn't help but accept but stand the as she was lightning you with her words.

"It hurts to see that someone that I love doesn't love me back but it hurts more to see that you two are very miserable without eachother. I really thought you were a bitch you know."

At the sound of that, you let out a startled laugh.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you just gave us looks when we'd shoe up together somewhere or you'd simply leave, but I don't like turning my back on people and judging them like that. I'm in no place to judge anyone a coping mechanism."

Petra sighed. Her fingers curled strongly onto her cup, while her left palm went to support the cup by the bottom as she angled it on her lips. She made a tiny gulping noise as she drank a sip from her latte, her nose crinkling up as the hot beverage brushed over her sensitive tongue. In turn, you sipped similarly, mimicking Petra just hoping it would serve as a sign for her to go on with her speech.

"I might be hurt, but I vouch to help you and Levi resolve what's going on and get back together."

"You do?"

"Mhm"

"Petra I, I don't know what to say you- you're a literal angel." You admit and the guilt in your stomach only growled in its awakening.

You and Levi had hurt a wonderful person. Petra didn't need to be nice to you, she didn't need to offer to help you with anything but once you made yourself step inside her shoes you were able to see why she had perceived you the way that she initially had.

"I'm sorry."

Your voice was silent and stripped of any emotion other than shame yet Petra was beaming at you in response.

Her warm smile was elegant and comforting as she stared at you, taking another gulp of her drink with a soft giggle. Your eyes were locked with hers, saddened (e/c) irises staring into her hazel ones, as she smiled even more little by little.

It was strange.

There was a different kind of bubbling inside your chest and you knew because your heart wasn't hammering anymore, not was your stomach trying to be ripped apart in tiny pieces after it vored into your other intestines. You felt serene, at peace even.

It clicked to you that this is what must feel to be forgiven.

"It's fine, plus you guys kinda deserve each other." Petra laughed at your chocked inhale, pressing a comforting, gloved palm to your shoulder. "I'd rather find my happiness when I'm not in between two people that struggle to find theirs."

Petra nuzzled to the comfort of her jacket, giving you a scrunched up bunny smile. You knew it's not that she hoped you could be best friends after this. She simply wanted to make sure that she could do her best to help two people find happiness. And it wasn't all that bad, you figured. You didn't know what you would do were you in her place.

In a way, you admired Petra for being so strong.

"Besides, girls shouldn't bring down other girls."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry about what I did behind your back. I own up to my mistake. I can't take it back but I can promise that I won't become this toxic ever again."

You shot an apologetic side smile at her as you followed her tracks.

Taking a new look in your surroundings, you deeply inhaled the cold air, filling your lungs in shivering winter freshness. A few specs of snow were adorning Petra's hair as the fell from the sky in a dainty manner, licking the stray threads that popped from her wooly gloves.

There definitely was a commotion a few blocks away. You could hear sirens go off not so far from your spot but you chose to ignore them, it was typical for a city person to filter out unnecessary noise, and having to live in Trost added tons to what you had to filter or not.

"It's December twenty six and the two is back to being a Mayhem." Petra sighed.

"It's like we're Gotham or some shit."

"Gotham?" Petra blinked at you, earning a gasp from you.

"Step one to being the friend of someone who's majoring in comics-"

"Oh, friends yay!"

Shaking your head, to ignore the child like enthusiasm, you continued, "Please know the most well known fictional city, it's Batman's city too."

"OH!" Petra's mouth fell agape as she took in the information, but she quickly giggled again as she saw that you easily took a gulp of your beverage "you're right."

For what seemed like a second you felt at peace once again. Petra bubbled about how she wanted to apologise to Levi about her rather cold behavior last night, and explained in the most non detailed way how it was the memory of the passing of her mother that had caused her to become this grumpy.

"Don't worry Petra! But beware, you could be turning into Levi version two point oh and-"

A loud sound startled you, sending both you and Petra back a few steps. Dumbfounded, you stared at each other and around you, locking eyes with different by passers that were just as shocked as you.

"Maybe we should go back!" Petra suggested. You simply nodded, hearing a good amount of running footsteps coming to the direction of the block you were in. In any way, getting caught up with a manhunt wasn't in your plans for today

"Yeah maybe we shou-"

Your words were cut off absurdly, harshly and shockingly all together. As gunmetal orbs locked with yours, your eyelids shot open, hour mouth dropping to the snow covered concrete.

"Levi?"

Wait, Levi? That was actually so random

Before you could manage to process what was going on around you, or why on earth Levi had just popped up from the alley right across you another head splitting sound filled the air.

Levi -yes, this was indeed Levi, you just didn't really know how to process this- collapsed on his knees like a rag doll, his torso and head giving in to the exhaustion of his body. Once he fell, you stood frozen, shieldimg Petra with one hand as the two of you watched in horror while crimson started littering the sugary snow.

"Call an ambulance." You spoke dryly, eyes still wide with horror.

The people who had seemed to be after Levi quickly fell onto the hands of the hands of a handful of police men who were on their tracks, but you couldn't care to look at their faces. You just run towards Levi, always followed by a petrified Petra, your feet giving in as you kneeled right next to him, your fingers gingery ghosting over him just to inspect what was his condition.

You listened as Petra spoke with the emergency center in horror, explaining what was the scene before her eyes while struggling to keep herself from trembling.

"What's going on?" Shy muttered once she detached the phone off her ear.

"I'm pretty sure now is not the right time for a story, but Levi used to be in a street gang in his teens."

"Oh boy."

Oh boy indeed.

Here's your gentle reminder that constructive criticism makes me cry because I'm a baby

Taglist: @sasageyowrites @liddolwhynot2000 @ackermans-freedom-inc @callmepromise @nobody-knows-anymore @levisbrat25 @thethyri @hawkssnugget @berrijam @melancholicmonologue

[erensonly]

Cuddle Buddies (Bakugou x Black! Reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                   ~Chapter 7: Date~

0, 1, 2 ,3, 4, 5,6, 6.2

.

.

.

.

.

.

(don't play the song yet 👩🏿‍🌾)

Waking up on a Saturday without music playing is truly a blessing(iykyk). After brushing your teeth and washing your face, you walk downstairs and you see mama on the phone.

"-es, I understand. Thanks for letting me know... Keep me updated."

"Who was that?" Startled, she turned around ready to hit somebody. "Don't scare me no more. Anyway, that was the principal, he said that you would need to move in the dorms by Monday because those damn villains are active again."

"Don't nobody wanna be there. I wanna be at home," you groaned. Plating your breakfast, you sit down and grab your phone, seeing a text from Bakugou asking if you wanted to go out later. Accepting his offer, you finish your food and go to get your morning routine started.

(this is your hair and outfit, don't like it then you can change it)

Walking downstairs, you got to find mama to tell her you're going out. "MAMA!" Walking towards her room, you knock on the door before opening it, just to let her know you're coming in.

"Now why are you yelling in my damn house?" she questions. oops... "My bad. Anyway, I'm going with out with Bakugou. I'll be back later, k?" Turning to walk away, you hear, "That's your man, ain't it?"

"Huh?" Is that really how it looks? That ain't my man... yet. "Girl you heard me. Is that your man?" This is mad awkward. How do I explain that that's my man but not formally my man but still my man?

"Um... Not yet I guess."

"And why not?" Dang, she do be nosy🖐🏽

"Because he ain't asked yet."

"Mhm.." she said looking at you like she knew better (y'all know that look you give when somebody lying) "Alright. See you later."

Big Head🐥 i'm ready

                                                     Bakuboy💥                                                      around the corner

Walking outside, you see a car pull around. Rolling down the window, you see Bakugou. "Get in!" Opening the door, you get in the well polished car.

"Hey-"

"What do you want to eat?" No hi, hello, how are you? just straight to the point I guess.

"I don't know... you pick." (if somebody asked me what i wanted to eat i will stay silent🖐🏽 ain't nobody eating then)

"Wings it is."

"Gimme your phone," you told him. "Why? Tryna look through my search history?"

"Um... no. Don't nobody care what you do in your spare time. Now gimme it" Handing you his phone, you go to spotify and click on a random playlist. Dmx Aaliyah Tupac Biggie King Von & more

"You got taste or whatever," you complimented.

"Duh look at me. Obviously I have taste." Here this cocky nigga go.

(play song now)

"Just say 'Thank you' and go," you rolled your eyes. Playing 'I Need A Girl' by Diddy (y'all don't know nun bout that) you start to sing along quietly.

I need a girl to ride ride ride I need a girl to make my wife I need a girl who's mine, all mine I need a girl in my life

As you start to rap along you hear Bakugou quietly rap along. Smiling at him, you turn the music up.

Yo, I'm internationally known on the microphone I got it all I really need a wife at home

Turning it up more, you both got louder. Enjoying yourselves and each other. This was something you craved. Having fun with someone you were close to and had a great relationship with.

Looking over, you see Bakugou glancing at you while singing the song. Glancing back, you smile at him and continuing to sing to him, him singing back.

Need a girl that can stand me, raise me a family Go from trips to Delancey to trips to the grammys

"What you know about this?" You we're still shocked that he had music taste like this. He looked like he listened to one Nba Youngboy song and called himself a gangster. ( tell me i'm wrong)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Finally at Buffalo Wild Wings, you both step out of the car. Starting to walk towards the door, Bakugou entwined your pinkies together.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Hot wings and fries. What do you want?" you said, putting emphasis on 'you.'

"The same thing. Wanna split a 20 piece?" What type of stupid question is that? "Duh."

Waving over a waitress, Bakugou starts to order for the both of you. "Good afternoon, my name is CeCe and I'll be serving you today! What would you like?"

Noticing that she hasn't taken her eyes off of Bakugou since you both had walked in, you grabbed his hand and started to play with his fingers.

"Can we get a 20 piece hot wings and fries? You want f/d right?" nodding, you continue to play with his rings, "and a Coke."

"Ok," she 'subtly' brushed her painted nails on his shoulder, "I'll have that right out for you." Walking away, she turned back and glared at you. Glaring back, you flick her off.

"She being mad annoying already and we just got here," you complained.

"Tell me about it. She touch me again Imma blow this whole damn place down," he rolled his eyes. Grabbing you hand, he starts to play with your fingers as well.

"Where was Mama at?"

"Boy that ain't yo mama. And she was minding her business. Why?"

"I want her to cook for me," he said matter of factly.

"Why are you acting like you've been knowing her your whole life?" you asked, laughing at him.

"Because I can. She obviously liked me when I met her."

"Oh my god," you laughed, " what do you want her to cook for your oh so fancy pallet?"

"Surprise me."

"You gotta try soul food," you gushed, " it's so good on holidays especially."

"Here you are," the waitress said cheerfully. "Anything else for you?" she asked, only looking at Bakugou.

"No, we don't want anything else," you interrupted.

"I wasn't asking you."

"But I answered. Do we have a problem?" Who does she think she is? Imma need her to stop coming for my man.

"I said I wasn't talking to yo-"

"Listen, I suggest you back the hell off my girl before she lays yo stupid ass out, K?" he interrupted.

His girl? I like the sound of that

She huffed and walked off, obviously annoyed she couldn't keep flirting with him.

He started to eat, but you was still stuck on the 'my girl' thing.

"I'm your girl now, huh?"

Looking up at you, he wiped his mouth, "You should know this by now."

"Like I told you, you haven't asked."

"Whatever."

Continuing to eat and bicker, you both just enjoyed each other's company.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

After finishing the food and paying, you start to walk towards the car, him following behind you. Trying to open the door, you feel your hand get pulled and now your back it against the door.

Pinning you to the car, he leans in closer to you. "You're my girl, got it?"

Being bratty, you decide to test him a bit. "Nope. You haven't asked."

"Fine... Will you finally be mine?" That was straightforward. Don't really know what I expected though.

"... I guess," you said, sheepishly smiling. "Took you long enough."

"Shut up," he said leaning in.

Slowly entwining lips. Lips soft and lush against each other's. The kiss getting hot, he grabs your waist, pulling you closer. You more both trying to get closer to each other, if possible.

Trying to deepen the kiss, he started to slip his tongue in, again trying to pull you closer as if you would just disappear. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you too start to deepen the kiss.

After a while, you start to pull away, still slightly pecking his lips.

"Let's go-" more kisses. "We can't be-" more kisses. "-in front of everyone like this-" more kisses. Pushing him away slightly, you peck his lips one more time and push him off fully.

Getting in the car, you shuffle his playlist, quietly singing along. He put his hand on your thigh, lightly rubbing.

Leaning your head on the window, you start to doze  off little by little. Finally asleep, Bakugou turns the music down slightly and continues to drive you home.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Baby, get up." You felt someone trying to shake you awake. "Move," you groaned, trying to slap away the hands shaking you.

"Ugh." Bakugou got out the car, going to your side. Opening your door, he grabs you out of the car, you wrapping your legs around his waist. Walking up the steps he knocked on the door.

"Who is it!" He saw your mother open the door. "I- did that damn girl fall asleep? Here, her room is upstairs to the right."

In your room, he noticed the posters and other decor around the room. Definitely her style. he thought.

Setting you down on the bed, he took your shoes and socks off, he put your head on the pillow.

"Goodnight Pretty girl," he kissed your head, pulling the covers over your body. He walked downstairs to let himself out.

"You must really like her, huh?" mama asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"Take care of her. This is the earliest I've seen her sleep in a long time," she smiled fondly.

"But if you hurt her, I'll hurt you so bad your own mother can feel it. Got it?" Her mood changes just like y/n's. Probably where she got it from.

"I won't hurt her. Promise."

"Alright," she started, leading him to the door, " get home safe."

"Thank you." And with that he was off. Getting home, in his bed and just thinking about your pretty smile and soft lips. He could definitely get used to kissing you like that.

                                                 ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

i hope you enjoyed this, i will be trying to update every sunday if i can. thx for reading ♥

[matchacloudz]

Lotus Inn

Daniel Seavey x OC (Kora King)

Requested: No 

word count: 1.8k

Masterlist

 Not my gif

With a final groan, the radio cut and the car had finally given up on us. “I told you we should have gotten it looked at” I said to my best friend sitting in the passenger seat. Knowing I was right, all she could do was glare my way and unbuckle her seatbelt. “Yeah, yeah, now help me push this to the side” she said. I put the car into neutral and got out to help her move the piece of shit to the curb.

“You have your CAA card right?” She asked as we started slowly pushing the car, “mom never lets me leave without it” I said. “Man, why did this have to happen? We’re literally in the middle of our trip” she moaned, trying to push the car with me. “Need I remind you, I told you to check what the engine light was all about” I groaned with her. We were barely making any progress, but after a few minutes we finally got the car to a safe-ish position on the side of the road. “Let’s just call CAA yeah? See if we can’t get ourselves to a motel or some shit” she said, leaning on the boot of the car.

40 or so minutes of waiting in the heatwave, we finally saw the tow truck. “Is there anywhere I can drop you girls off?” The driver said as we grabbed our bags out of the trunk. Ella and I looked at each other, we had reservations at a hotel that we were nowhere close too. “Not unless you’re willing to drive us 4 more hours to our hotel” she joked, earning a laugh from the worker infront of us. “That’s a bit out of my pay range, but I know a place I can take you – always looking for new customers” he said. With no other options in site, we climbed into his car and were soon on our way to the mystery location.

-

“Here you are girls, Lotus inn, best local hotel on this side of the coast.” “Thank you for all your help, we really appreciate it” Ella said handing the man a 50. “No problem, we’ll get back to you on how much the car will be – hopefully you’ll be able to make the rest of your trip with no issues.” We nodded to him in gratitude and with that we went our separate ways.

“This place looks pretty nice” Ella commented, “yeah, let’s hope its in our price range” I tell her.

Surprisingly, we were able to book a room for a while – having enough money and having to splurge some what into the emergency stash we took. “Well, considering we can’t make it to anything else – feel like going to the pool for a while?” I offered once we settled. “Why not, maybe find something to do” she agreed.

The pool was near empty, people were lounging about – sunbathing, drinking and not a single kid in sight. “Did we get lucky?” I asked plopping myself on one of the lounge chairs. The two of us laid in silence, trying to decompress from the day we just had, I on the other hand was just excited to be out of the passenger seat after 5 hours. “Hey, don’t look now but that guy across the pool is totally checking you out” she said, I looked at her – but due to her sun glasses I couldn’t tell if she was bluffing or not. Deciding to investigate for my self, I flipped to my back and looked across the water – sure enough, a group of five guys were across from us and the bleach blonde one was subtly looking in our direction. “What do you think, out of 10?” I say looking at her. She glanced up once more and then back to her book “I give him a solid 9” she said.

I laughed at her response and headed to the bar. “Hey, two cranberry vodkas please” I tell the server, however I was trying to see if the blonde had followed me or not, sure enough – when I looked one more time, he left his friends and started making his way to the bar. Wanting to talk to him, I took a seat, placing my foot on the one next to me.

“This seat taken?” He asked putting his glasses on his head. I couldn’t help but smirk when he came by – totally a ten in my books. “Not at all” I tell him, grabbing my drinks from the bartender. “So I couldn’t help but notice you from across the pool” he told me, placing his arms on the bar in front of himself. “Oh, so you weren’t just checking out my ass?” I tease him, biting my lip. “Couldn’t help it, you caught my eye” he admitted smiling at me. “I’m Kora, my friends Ella” I tell him, “Daniel. I’ll introduce you to my friends later” he says.

Conversation flowed easily between the two of us, that was until Ella came up and interrupted us. “I take it that’s for me?” She asks referring to the second cran vodka sitting between us. “Oh, shit sorry, uh Ella this is Daniel. He’s in a band” I say emphasizing the last fact. She wasn’t surprised however, “and you say you don’t have a type” she mutters nudging my shoulders. “So what brings you two to the Lotus inn?” He asks, including her in the conversation. “Her car broke down, sort of a last-minute kind of thing – you?” I ask looking him in the eyes. “Me and the guys come here a lot, sort of a hidden gem to everyone, great for a get away once in a while” he said. “Hey Daniel, we gotta go” a taller boy with curler hair said coming up to us. “So much for a getaway – hey we’ll see you at the bonfire tonight right?” He asked pointing to a poster hung up behind the bar. I look to my best friend but before she can refuse anything I agree. “Cool, here’s my number by the way.” He writes 10 digits on a napkin before leaving with the curly haired boy.

-

Later that night as we get ready for the bonfire Ella cannot stop with all the questions about Daniel. “What’s he like? You guys were literally there for 40 minutes. Is he sweet? Does he seem like a douche bag?” I can’t help but laugh at her – its been way too long since she’s seen her boyfriend and now she’s living right through me. “He seems really authentic? I guess I can say, I mean, we literally lost track of time. He’s so charming” I say as I finish curling my hair. “Well what are you going to wear? You gotta wow him” she says going through my clothes. “I’m going to wear a this set and we’re going to go” I say pulling my outfit out for myself. “I’m not going to dress up for someone I just met and will probably see ever again” I tell her, “boo, you’re no fun” she said shuffling over to her own bag.

The sun had started to set by time we make it to the bonfire. Everything is in full swing, but I don’t see Daniel anywhere or the guys he was with. “Come on! Let’s grab something to drink!” I turn to Ella and she places a lei on my neck as well as handed me some glowsticks. “Where in the world did you get these already?” I asked sliding them to wear as bracelets “It’s a bonfire! They’re just being handed out!”

Daniel

The guys were taking their sweet time getting ready for the bonfire and I was getting impatient, wanting to get out their and meet up with Kora already. “Dude chill have some pre-drink” Corbyn said handing me a red solo cup. “What are you guys even doing? Let’s just go” I said, chugging the beer.

After some more complaining we finally made our way to the bonfire and I found Kora and Ella dancing in front of the fire almost immediately. I stayed with the boys while they grabbed some drinks. Kora looked over at me and winked, earning a blush – which she would never hear about. “That her?” Zach asked as I handed him a beer, “yeah with the flower necklace on” I tell him. I couldn’t help but just watch her for a while, she looked absolutely perfect swaying her hips to the music playing loudly. I downed my drink and went to grab another one when I felt someone grab my wrist. Looking back I saw Kora with a big smile on her face. “Where do you think you’re going?” She asked bringing me to the dance floor, “just admiring the view” I whisper in her ear. I noticed the shiver roll down her spine. “you keep talking like that and I think we both know how this night is going to end” she said.

Kora handed me her drink as Elle came up to give her a refill and grabbed my free hand. I slowly twirled her around and brought her back to my front, keeping her with me and telling other guys to fuck off. “So mr. Rockstar – I take it I’m yours for the rest of the night?” She whispered in my ears, “I mean, if you’ll take me” I tell her.

Elle and the boys soon crowd around us making a semi circle. I can’t seem to look away from Kora however, the sunset hits her face just perfectly. Her eyes are highlighted by the golden rays and she’s glowing. “It’s getting dark – do you guys want to get out of here?” Zach suggested to everybody. “Yeah, we don’t have anywhere to be in the morning” Ella said for us – clearly smitten with the brunette beside her.

We all take some booze from the party and make it back to our suite. “Shit you guys rich or something?” Ella jokes as Zach takes her hand leading her to the couch. “I mean, Daniel did say they are a band” Kora said, her hand never leaving mine. We all disperse around the living room; Jonah setting up spotify on the tv, Corbyn grabbing some glasses, Zach with Ella, Jack with Corbyn and Kora always by my side. “So, we partying or what?” Jonah asked as the music started playing.

The next few hours are spent with booze flowing, jokes being made and games being played. It was only midnight, and a few more people showed up making the hotel room a little crowded. I had opened the door to let the salty sea air cool us all down, and looked towards Kora.

She made her way to me and grabbed my hand. “Baby, come with me” she said leading me out the doorway.

  To be continued?....

[snowdice]

Folds in Paper (Chapter 7: Not Much Has Changed but They Lived Underwater)[Folds in Time Universe]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Janus/Patton, Remus & Roman, eventual Logan/Virgil (maybe more)

Characters:

Main: Janus, Patton, Remus

Appear: Remy, Emile, Virgil, Logan, Roman

Summary: Janus, a disillusioned senior agent working for the Time Preservation Initiative, struggles to find meaning in a world where time travel could change everything about your life’s history in less than a moment. When time distortions start popping up, threatening the timeline and the fabric of reality as he knows it, it becomes a race against the clock to fix the damage before everything unravels. And the problem with time travel… you never how long you have before the clock strikes 12 and your time is up.

With a partner who has more mysteries in his past than Janus had anticipated and an enigmatic free agent time traveler mucking about time always with a clever pun or a time appropriate pet name on his lips, Janus will need to figure out what went wrong with time, and more importantly, how to fix it.

Chapter Summary:  

Stood there with my neighbor called Peter

And a flux capacitor

He told me he built a time machine

Like one in a film I've seen, yeah

He said

“I've been to the year 3000

Not much has changed, but they lived underwater

And your great-great-great-granddaughter

Is doing fine

Doing fine" 

-”Year 3000″ by the Jonas Brothers

(Can you spot all of the horrible, horrible puns and references??)

Notes: Time travel AU, mystery, enemies to lovers, alcohol

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted).

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

“Him,” was the only thing Janus said before taking off after the figure who had just disappeared into the games area.

“What?” Remus’s voice followed after him. “Janus! What?!”

Janus did not pause, continuing to run after Pat and bounding over two barricades as a shortcut to the protest of some of the workers. Janus cursed when he lost sight of the man for just a moment near the prize table filled with colorful goldfish, but he was able to spot him once again walking into one of the game tents. Janus blasted into the tent after him.

The game taking place in the tent was apparently one where they raced rats, and when Janus entered, Pat was cooing at one of said rats. “Who’s a tiny little squishy precious baby?” he was asking while wiggling his pointer finger at it.

“You,” Janus growled stepping up to him.

Pat turned and tilted his head at Janus with a frown. “Um, me?” he asked, pointing to his chest, all sorts of innocent, but Janus could see a spot of hidden amusement in his eyes.

“Where is it?”

His eyebrows drew together, but it was an act. It was clearly an act! “Where is what?”

“The…” he glanced around at the people surrounding them. They were already getting odd looks. “Thing you just took.”

“I didn’t take anything,” Pat said with a frown.

“Oh, no,” Janus said. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fooling me twice is not an option.”

“I’m sorry sir,” Pat said. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bull. Shit.”

Just then, the colorful blob of paint that was Remus jogged into the tent. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“It’s him,” Janus said pointing. “He took it. He has it.”

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pat said. He looked over to Remus with a confused frown.

Remus looked at Janus. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Janus said. “It’s him. It has to be him. He’s the mask guy.”

Remus squinted at Pat. “He is?”

“Whoever you think I am, I’m not. I haven’t worn a mask all night. I just did the face paint,” he pointed to his cheeks.

Remus raised his wrist and his timepiece lit up green. He looked at Janus.

“I lost sight of him for five seconds. He must have stashed it somewhere,” Janus said. He turned on Pat. “Where did you put it?”

“…Are you,” Pat asked, his eyes going back and forth between Janus and Remus, “… the police?”

“We are, actually,” Khalid said as she stepped into the tent. Remus must have called her. She inserted herself between Janus and Pat. “Agent Khalid,” she said, offering a hand with a smile. Pat looked at it in surprise and then smiled back hesitantly as he took it. “Apologizes, one of the big game prizes was stolen by someone matching your description. Would you mind coming down to security for questioning? Just to clear it up.”

“Oh,” Pat said, hesitant. Janus expected him to refuse outright, but then he said. “Uh, sure.”

“Thank you very much, Mr…”

“Jonas,” Pat told her earnestly. “Do I need to be handcuffed?”

“No,” Khalid said. Janus frowned at her, but she ignored him. “It’s just a talk for now.” She gestured to the tent entrance. “Come with us.”

He did without argument, and Remus and Janus followed behind the both of them. Khalid did not lead them back to the base, but to a little spot that said “security” near the center of the event. Remy was already there waiting for them at a desk.

“Remy, would you please take Mr. Jonas to go sit down?” she asked.

“Sure, boss,” Remy said, standing up. He led Pat away.

Khalid turned to Janus and Remus once they were out of earshot. “What is going on?”

“It’s the mask man,” Janus said, “the one from 1923, and my scanner said the time bomb was on the Millenia Bird outside the games entrance, but then it was gone the next second, and I saw him, and then he ran away.”

“So, does he have it on him?”

“No. I lost sight of him, and he must have stored it somewhere, but I know he took it.”

“He’s the man from 1923?” she asked.

“Yes! Remus, that’s him, right? You recognize him.”

“Well,” Remus said thoughtfully. “He was in a mask, and it was dark in the room with the necklace. Other than that, I only really saw his back, and he was wearing pants. Mr. Jonas is wearing a dress, so I can’t really tell if their asses match.”

“Okay, but I was with him for hours. I swear it’s him, and I swear he took it,” Janus just about shouted.

“We’ll question him,” Khalid placated, “and Fred and Lena will keep looking in the meantime.”

“He knows where it is,” Janus insisted. “I swear.”

“Okay,” Khalid said, before leaving to follow where Remy and Pat had gone. She stopped Janus with a hand on his shoulder. “I think Remus and I will do the interrogation.” He opened his mouth to argue. “You know the most about him, so observe from the sidelines and see if he makes any mistakes that indicate you’re right.”

“That’s just to placate me and you know it.”

“Observation’s over there,” she said pointing.

He got a thumbs up from Remus as he walked by, and Janus glared at his back before walking off to the indicated location. He watched as Remus and Khalid entered the room, and Remy left it. Remy joined him in the observation room after leaving and leaned against the wall.

Pat was sitting at a table and watched Remus and Khalid with that same rubbish placid confusion that he had before. “So,” Khalid said, “Mr. Jonas.”

“You can call me Nick,” Pat interrupted.

“Lia,” Khalid replied. He smiled at her happily. “So, are you enjoying your day?” she asked.

“I am!” he replied. “It’s a big day. You only get to see the turn of a millennia once in your life, and so much as changed in the last 1,000 years. I’m a bit disappointed we can’t live under water yet though.”

“Ah, yes,” Khalid said. “Doing anything special for it?”

“Um, not really,” he said. “other than the city block party. I’m going to meet up with my roommates after dinner. Kevin doesn’t like this sort of thing, and Joe couldn’t come.”

“Your roommates,” Khalid said, considering him. “Do you live around here?”

“Uh huh,” Pat replied.

“Do you have any ID?”

“I do, want me to get it?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

Pat unzipped one of the bubbles on his waist and handed her a chip. “Clockson, would you mind going out and getting the ID scanner?” she asked, even though her timepiece would be able to read it.

“Ah, shit,” Remy said. “Props. What do those things even look like?” As Remy scrambled to find something that would pass for an ID reader so ‘Nick’ didn’t get suspicious of Khalid using her timepiece, Janus watched the two alone in the room like a hawk.

“I see you’re wearing a dress inspired by the 2770s,” Khalid noted, as Remus came to stand next to him.

“Yeah!” Pat replied. “Joe made it for me. He’s really good at fashion design!”

“Can I see?” she asked.

With a happy smile, he reached over the table to let her get a look of the sleeves. Janus saw her subtly scan the fabric, probably to make sure it was from the 2990s and not actually from the 2770s. Considering she didn’t mention it, Janus assumed it checked out.

Remy came back with some sort of device then and handed it to Remus who saluted and wandered back into the interrogation room. Khalid pretended to scan the ID in her hand. She handed it back to him without comment. “So, you said you live with your roommates: Joe and Kevin?” she asked.

“Yep!” he replied. “We’re practically like brothers.”

“Would you mind calling them?”

“Erm,” he titled his head like he was confused by the question. “Well, like I said, Joe is a bit busy, but I could definitely call Kevin.

“Here,” Khalid said, “use my phone.”

“I have my own,” he said with a frown. He took out a phone which checked out as being from 2998.

“Humor me,” she requested shoving her own phone at him.

“Uh, okay,” Pat agreed. He took the offered 2999 phone and dialed a number on it. Khalid reached over to put it on speaker.

“Hello?” a voice asked after a few seconds.

“Um, hey Kevin, it’s Nick.”

There was a sigh on the other end. “Hello Nick, is something wrong? Why are you calling me from someone else’s phone?”

“I’m fine, I think.” He looked up at Khalid. “Why am I calling him exactly?”

“Hello, I’m Officer Khalid,” Khalid said. “I just wanted to confirm that you are Nick Jonas’s roommate, and he does live in Manaus.”

“Yes, we live together with our other roommate,” the man replied flippantly. “Officer? Is something wrong?”

“I believe there was just a case of mistaken identity,” Khalid said.

“Bullshit there was!” Janus hissed, though she could not hear him.

“No need to worry,” Khalid continued.

“I’m good Kevin,” Pat said.

“Are you absolutely sure?” Kevin asked.

“Don’t be Paranoid, Kevin. I’ll see you Tonight for the New Years Celebration. You know I Live to Party.”

“I am hanging up now,” Kevin said.

“No! Comeback.” The line went dead. Pat handed the device back to Khalid.

She took it and smiled at him. “Give us just a couple of minutes,” she requested. He nodded easily, and she and Remus exited the interrogation room. “I… think we’re done here,” Khalid said.

“No, he’s lying,” Janus insisted, and got a dubious look in return. “I know he is! Remus!”

“The alibi is pretty solid…” Remus said, “and he doesn’t have the bomb on him.”

“Oh, come on,” Janus said. “You can’t say there is nothing fishy going on here.”

Khalid and Remus shared a look. “Janus,” Khalid said. “I respect your intuition. It is usually very good, but you have been a bit intense about the man from the 1920s, and I think that may be blinding you a bit...”

“I am not imagining this!” Janus said. “That’s him and he took it.”

“You only met him once while he was wearing a mask,” Khalid pointed out with a frown, “and you didn’t see him take the bomb, did you?”

“No, but he looked at me and I knew,” Janus argued. They both gave him a skeptical look. “Oh, come on!”

“You know that’s a little weak, Jan,” Remus said.

“Let me talk to him,” Janus requested. “Just give me five minutes to talk with him.”

Khalid raised one eyebrow. “Fine,” she agreed. “You have five minutes, but after that, you have to let it go. We can’t waste any more time.”

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 8 Part 9

[evie568]

Work in progress

♫ ♪ Spotify playlist : Ella changed the Name — Previously named : Cut ; by eviewivi

Date of creation : December 2017 — 3h6m

Let’s start from the beginning.

— —

· Who am I?

My name is Evie.

It was not my given name. I chose it myself. I always wanted a long name, like “Isabella” or “Elisabeth”, but I was given Eve. So I decided to add another letter to it to make it longer (age 4/5).

Some of my diplomas say “Evie”, and others say “Eve”. My passport says “Eve” whereas my social insurance card says “Evie”.

It’s a bit of a mess.

— —

I was born in 1995, in London and moved to the South of France with my family (age 8).

My parents are both English (although they enjoy saying they’re French since they have duel nationality now). I have 2 older sisters and 1 older brother.

At the age of 8, I remember that I could count up to 30 in French and say “Bonjour”. That was about it. I was put in a French school straight away and it was scary at first.

— —

Learning to speak French came naturally as I was young. The grammar was a little harder, and I still have difficulty with it today.

I actually have difficulty in English too. I often make mistakes.

Being born in one country and moving to another can sometimes be confusing.

“Are you French?” Not really…

“English?” Neither…

“So what are you?” Good question.

You often get asked the same questions.

“Do you think in English or French?”

“Do you dream in English or French?”

“Do you prefer England or France?”

I don’t mind it though, they find it interesting.

— —

· What happed?

This is a difficult question. I’m not too sure as I am still discovering things everyday.

I am not writing this, cured from my mental illness. I am writing this, still going through tough times, trying to get better everyday.

I am writing this as a sort of therapy, to help myself and maybe others.

To understand myself better, for family and friends to understand me better and maybe for people to relate to.

Writing has never been my strong point but whether you are good at it or not, I do find it helps. You get to express yourself freely, like dancing, or painting or creating music… any form of art really.

— —

So back to the question : what happened?

In 2018, I was diagnosed with a mental illness I had never heard of before in my life : Borderline Personality Disorder.

— —

· How did this all start?

After finishing a Sound Engineering course back in 2015 (Montpellier, FR), I went back home to my parents house to look for a job in the music industry.

It was very hard to find a job with no work experience at all. It was a catch 22 situation : I needed a job to gain experience but couldn’t get a job without any prior experience.

I would end up playing The Sims everyday in my one piece pajamas. Drinking Desperados in the evening while dreaming of moving to Sydney.

My parents quickly noticed I was not being very productive, and gave me a speech.

I would often check Facebook and see my best friend at the time, having the time of her life as an Au Pair in London.

I was jealous.

— —

In October 2015, I took a plane to London to become an Au Pair.

I was an Au Pair for about 2 years in London, and it was so much fun.

I made friends with other Au Pairs from all over the world that were so lovely. We would go out to bars, concerts, parks, museums, festivals and so much more.

— —

Then I met Julien.

This part is difficult to write about as it is still very painful and I have forgotten a lot.

My therapist told me it’s hard to remember what hurt you so much. I find that to be true in this situation, but I’ll try my best.

— —

I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life. And I was 22 years old.

My brother created an online profile for me on a website called OKCupid. He told me that it wasn’t just for dating, but you could also make friends.

I met Julien on OKCupid. His username was “JulienB26” (his last name started with a B and he was 26… I know, very creative…). Mine was “BurnTogether” (the name of a music album I was OBSESSED with at the time)

He was not my type at all, but sent me the sweetest, most personal message I had ever received, so I thought “why not?”

We met in a rock bar in Camden Town called The Worlds End, and it was fun. We got on straight away and it was my best first date ever.

Long story short we ended up dating.

After only about a month, I left my Au Pair family and moved in with him in Notting Hill. He met my family and I met his.

My parents adored him! He seemed so perfect. He was cultured, dressed nicely, polite, had a good job, a nice and tidy apartment…

He wasn’t that perfect though.

— —

He smoked a lot of weed, was addicted to online video games and extremely jealous.

I remember one time when I was typing to my friend at the time, he snatched my phone out of my hands to see what I was writing. It was quite aggressive and I did not like it at all.

— —

My Au Pair friend Pri invited me one day to spend time with her and our new Au Pair friend to go out to pubs near London Bridge.

I refused, as Julien didn’t want me to go. He didn’t like Pri.

We (Julien and I) went to the rock bar we first met at instead. It was not fun. We didn’t have much left in common.

I felt the relationship slowly dying and there was a lot about him I did not like anymore. But breaking up with him was not an option.

I got drunk. I often drank. I liked it so much and would drink too much, too often.

The following day I saw about 5 to 10 messages from my friend Pri.

There was a terrorist attack that very same night at London Bridge.

She managed to escape but unfortunately our Au Pair friend, did not.

— —

Pri asked me to spend the day with her, the day we found out that our friend had passed away and, of course, I went.

We drank wine together and cried.

She didn’t want to spend the night alone and asked me if I could stay with her.

I agreed and asked Julien if it was okay with him. But it was not.

It was a problem for him and he refused.

I left.

— —

Julien had been acting strange for a couple of days.

I didn’t really know what to do and didn’t want to be egocentric and assume it was because of me, but I did.

Maybe he was thinking about his father who passed away?

I didn’t know, and he wasn’t telling me anything.

— —

One day, as I came home from babysitting, and had enough. I needed to know what was wrong.

He put down his joint, told his online friends on Discord that he needed to leave and turned around from his computer to face me.

— —

This part is very hard to remember.

He told me I didn’t deserve his love as he couldn’t love me to the fullest.

He wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to end things and needed some time to think.

Our age difference was a problem for him. He thought we were in two different phases of our life.

— —

I didn’t sleep that night.

I watched Netflix and cried until I saw the sun rise.

The next following days were difficult. It was the same pattern everyday.

I woke up sad, left for work angry, came back confused and went to sleep sad.

I didn’t deserve this.

No one deserves being with someone who isn’t sure they love them and needs time to think.

So I decided to leave.

I took a train to Paris and never came back.

— —

My brother who studied art in Paris, decided to spend a year of his education in Bergen, Norway. So he had an un-used flat in Paris for a year.

I asked my parents if I could stay in the flat while looking for a job in Paris.

They agreed.

— —

I felt fresh, like a new chapter of my life was starting. I didn’t know anyone (besides my brothers friends, Julie and Yolo).

I bought healthy, organic, vegan food and bought a membership to a gym that I would go to everyday for an hour.

Things were looking good. I felt positive.

— —

I quickly found a part-time job as a receptionist for a company involved in cryptocurrency.

It was so much fun.

I loved saying hello to all the staff that walked passed my desk in the morning.

My life was good, and it got even better.

— —

I went to the company’s seminar in a grand chateau outside of Paris.

One evening, we had special places to sit for dinner. It was a way of mixing all different employees from different services to connect.

I was sat at a table with one of the Vice Presidents of the company.

He was very kind and asked me what I do outside of work and what I would like to do in the future.

I had a couple of Desperados and told him that I originally wanted to join a company in the music industry and work my way up, but since working for the company, I had fallen in love with the it and would actually like to work my way up in this company.

This was not a sneaky plan or anything. I’m not that smart.

Fortunately though, the President of the company heard my tipsy conversation and called me over.

He asked me if what I said was true. I was astonished he knew my name!

— —

About two weeks after the seminar, the Vice President of Sales approached me asking if we could have a chat.

He had heard from the President that I wanted to join the company and offered me a position in the Sales department.

I had no experience whatsoever in sales, but accepted with great pleasure.

— —

My personal life on the other hand was not going so well.

I was drinking a lot and started cutting myself with broken glass as a punishment for drinking.

But I didn’t tell anyone or do anything about it as I felt in control of the situation.

I was on OKCupid again but comparing every profile to Julien.

In the spring of whatever year it was (2018 maybe?), I went back to London to see Julien as he had some of my belongings to give back to me.

We talked and walked in Hyde Park for about two hours. I wore his favorite dress.

I told him about my amazing new job and friends I had made. I was subtly bragging about my life. I wanted him to regret letting me go. And he did. He cried so much and felt very regretful. I felt happy even though I was suffering inside.

Towards the end of the walk he told me he was seeing someone new.

I did not expect that. I was shocked.

— —

I remember taking the underground back, and crying like I have never cried before while listening to Taylor Swift.

I felt that something inside of me had changed. Something bad.

— —

After returning back to Paris things got worse. I was drinking more and cutting deeper and more often.

Julien was still texting me at the time and I was not responding as I wanted to cut the cord with him.

He didn’t understand why and I remember telling him that I had never felt this bad in my life. I had never hated myself so much and needed space.

He told me that I needed to seek professional help.

I said goodbye and blocked him.

— —

On the day of Gay Pride 2018 in Paris.

I was drinking alone.

I didn’t eat anything that day and drank a bottle of white wine alone in my flat.

I remember grabbing a glass and smashing it on the floor, collecting the sharpest piece of glass I could find and cutting and cutting and cutting.

My friend Yolo came over and saw the pieces if glass all over the kitchen floor and saw me on the floor crying and bleeding.

She called an Uber and took me to a psychiatric hospital.

I was so desperate for help that I would have gone anywhere she took me.

We had to stop the Uber half way there so I could throw up and then continue on our route.

— —

Once there I remember talking to a professional, crying, about suicidal thoughts I had.

I remember doing a lot of research at the time and discovered a website.

It had all the information I was looking for on it.

I spent a night at the hospital Saint Anne to sober up.

The following day, they let me go.

— —

Even though things were bad, I still felt 100% in control of the situation.

I would self harm and drink almost daily.

I continued doing research about suicide and the sharpest object known to man.

One day I decided to order a pack of scalpels off of Amazon. They arrived quickly.

I was so eager to try them but had to go to work that day. So I just did a small cut on my arm and wow.

I didn’t press hard at all but bled. It was so satisfying at the time.

— —

On my friend Julie’s birthday I remember coming home from work, going to the closest shop to my flat and buying two 50cl cans of Desperados. I could tell the cashier was judging me, but I did not care much.

I put on a stand up comedy show on Netflix and proceeded to drink the beer.

Then I remembered the scalpels in my bedside draw.

I had promised myself not to self-harm anymore before the summer holidays as I would be around my family in t-shirts and shorts.

But I wanted to so badly. So I did.

I said to myself that it would be just one cut on my thigh. But it had to be satisfying enough.

So I cut my thigh.

— —

I forgot that it was a scalpel and in my mind it was just a piece of broken glass.

Big mistake.

I cut too deep.

I remember seeing the white fat through the cut in my thigh.

It didn’t hurt though.

Then the blood started to flow. There was so much.

I tried to close the cut with my hands, but blood got everywhere.

I panicked.

I didn’t want to disturbed Julie on her birthday so I phoned her boyfriend (who was also my work colleague).

He calmed me down and phoned the emergencies who arrived very quickly.

— —

I went to the hospital and had to have ten stitches in my thigh.

They also made me speak to a therapist there who told me I could go home.

So I went home.

— —

I was seeing a psychiatrist for a while (since the Gay Pride event)

That told me after the 10 stitches incident that I was depressed.

I still remember the feeling of her telling me I was depressed. I was shocked and didn’t want to believe her.

I had everything under control!

She suggested I take antidepressants and I accepted. Paroxetine 10mg

— —

I worked for the company for about a year.

It was amazing.

I traveled to Berlin and London. I also attended a “Blockchain Cruise” from Barcelona to Monaco to Ibiza.

I could bring whomever I wanted from the company.

I chose Jacques.

He seemed nice.

— —

On the cruise, there was a party going on and of course, we both attended it. I was a little bit tipsy and kissed a guy on the dance floor.

I remember seeing Jacques really angry and went over to talk to him.

We were talking near the main bar on the boat.

He seemed very drunk.

He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away.

He tried again and I had to push harder.

Someone felt the need to intervene and asked me if I needed help.

I told them that everything was okay and walked Jacques back to the room.

— —

After the trip I wanted to forget that side I saw of Jacques.

So I did.

I wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be mine.

— —

One evening we were having drinks with work colleagues in a whiskey bar.

I asked Jacques, as a friend, if he wanted to spend the night at my flat.

I felt very lonely and was a bit tipsy.

I didn’t want anything to happen between us, but I understand now how he thought differently.

— —

As we were going to bed, he tried again, like on the cruise to kiss me.

I pushed him away but he was stronger.

He then proceeded to take my pajama trousers off.

I pulled them back up. He pulled them back down.

I remember his fingers inside of me. I tried pushing him off of me but he grabbed my wrists.

He then, finally, saw that I was not happy.

So thankfully, he stopped.

I pulled my trousers back up and stayed in a foetus position until I fell asleep.

— —

The next morning we walked to work together.

I didn’t feel right. Something about that night felt wrong.

I phoned Julie and told her what had happened. She was in Greece at the time.

I sent an email to my boss telling him that I didn’t feel well and asking him if I could have the day off.

He accepted and I left with my friend Yolo who met me at work.

— —

We had a lovely day. We went to the cinema, went and got massages, and later on that evening, we were at a café and my friend Julie appeared out of nowhere!

She had taken an early plane back from Greece to come and see me.

I was so happy to see her!

— —

The next week, at the end of the day at work, round 7pm, my boss asked if he could talk to me.

He told me that the President of the company had heard that I slept with a married colleague.

This has never happened and I has shocked and embarrassed.

I told him this information was not true and he believed me.

He told me to tell him if anything ever happens between me and a colleague.

I felt the need to tell him that Jacques took advantage to me. And I did.

My voice was shacking. He was angry.

After our chat, I left and went home.

— —

I don’t remember this part very well but I remember going to see my therapist very drunk with a bottle in my hand to my appointment.

She called the emergencies and they took me to a psychiatric hospital, La Maison Blanche.

— —

It was very strange at first seeing all different kinds of patients, with all different mental illnesses.

(the person is drinking water from a puddle, not praying)

— —

I stayed for about 15 days there and made some friends.

It wasn’t as bad as it first seemed.

— —

My siblings were aware of what was going on with me. But once again, I still felt under control of what was happening.

They didn’t think so, and they were right to think that.

One day I ran away of the hospital and drank cans of beer in the side walk.

That is when my siblings decided to tell my parents what was going on.

After going back inside the hospital, one of the nurses told me that my mother was on her way to see me, she took a 4h train to come.

She had no idea what was going on before. It must have been a terrible shock for her.

I felt so scared and embarrassed for her to see me in this blue outfit they had given me but they refused to give me back my clothes.

— —

It was extremely difficult to balance my work and personal mental health.

I was coming to terms with my depression and accepting that I was, in fact, never in control of anything that was happening to me.

— —

After leaving the hospital, I went back to work.

It was very awkward at first.

The President of the company asked to speak with me about my long absence.

I didn’t want to go into details, so I just mentioned that I was at the hospital without saying why, or what kind of hospital…

Later that same day, someone from human resources also asked to speak to me.

She was asking is everything was okay and I told her what my therapist had told me to say, that I had a really sore throat.

Now looking back at it, I know that she knew exactly where I was. In a psychiatric hospital.

The papers the hospital were giving to my company to cover my absence, had the address on them.

So she knew…

— —

One day, my boss got fired out of the blue. He was such an amazing person and work colleague. He didn’t deserve this.

Later that month, my other Sales colleague, also got fired.

Cryptocurrency was not doing as well as it was before, and the company was slowly dying.

I was next to get fired.

It was the day before my birthday.

I remember my new, less cool boss, asked me to have a word with him and a person from HR.

I honestly thought at the time that I was getting a raise. Lol.

The conversation was very awkward, it lasted about 15 minutes. I don’t remember much of what was said.

They told me to leave straight away and not mention to anyone that I got fired.

I told my friend/colleague on Slack before leaving the building.

He was worried he was next to get fired.

So I sent him a brief message saying “turns out you were right about the Sales team getting fired. I have to leave now. Please don’t tell anyone.”

I left and went home.

— —

As I got home I lay on the sofa staring into oblivion.

I wanted to cry. I said to myself that this is a situation most people would cry.

But it was so hard to shed a tear.

I felt numb.

— —

I phoned my mother and told her what had happened. She was worried I would do something bad.

I invited my friend, Alienor, that I made from the hospital over, and we drank beer and took cocaine.

My father phoned me.

He could hear by my voice that I had drank.

My parents contacted Yolo to come pick me up and take me back to the hospital by Uber.

I felt obliged to go with her, so I went and Alienor left.

I only stayed one night or maybe two. I don’t really remember.

— —

I continued living in Paris for a couple of months, without a job.

I would drink everyday. Cans of Heineken beer.

I would wake up and drink straight away, while watching BoJack Horseman.

Then I would fall asleep around 6pm.

Everyday was the same pattern. Beer and BoJack.

— —

I had stopped self harming, as I had promised myself since the 10 stitches to never start again. But suicide was still a big subject in my mind.

The website I had discovered, has the most common methods of suicide in order of success rate. And hanging myself seemed like an okay technique.

I wanted to test it out without actually killing myself.

I know it sounds weird.

I wanted to try and see if it was doable without actually doing it all the way.

——

I took the cotton belt off from my work trousers. I thought to myself that I wouldn’t need it anymore, as I don’t have a job anymore.

I tied a knot around my clothes hanger in my wardrobe, and tied the other side around my neck.

Then, I very gently bent my legs (as I could touch the floor).

The next thing I remember is waking up with the belt around my neck, in my wardrobe.

Saliva was all over my mouth. Snot was dripping from my nose.

It scared me.

I couldn’t undo the tight knot around my neck so cut it off with a pair of kitchen scissors.

I threw the belt in the bin and laid in my bed in a state of shock.

I phoned a friend at the time, and told him what just happened to me.

He came over and we talked about it.

— —

I liked him, he promised not to tell anyone and let me drink.

Yolo and Julie where more worried and protective. They would judge how much I would drink, and I didn’t really like that.

— —

One day, a colleague/friend of mine was organizing a small party at his house with about 8 people.

Julie, her boyfriend, Yolo and I all went along with other ex-work colleagues.

I got drunk quickly. And when I drank, I would talk too much.

I told a friend/ex-work colleague that I tried to hang myself the other day just to try it out but ended up fainting.

— —

Later that evening, I went home to my flat and fell asleep.

Around 3 in the morning, my door bell rang.

I didn’t know who it was, but opened the door all tired.

It was Julie, Yolo and another friend.

They were really worried about me.

What I had said at that party has gotten out, and everyone knew about it.

They told me I needed to go back to the hospital.

So I did the very next morning.

— —

I went back to The Maison Blanche, and stayed there for 12 nights.

One of the male nurses saw me and asked why I was back, again.

I told him what had happened and he was very nice. He gave me advice and listened to me.

He mentioned that we should go out for drinks once I get out of the hospital. I agreed and gave him my number.

— —

We texted that night, while I was in my hospital bed.

Our text messages were very flirtatious.

The next following days we had sexual relations in my hospital room, and in the storage room.

— —

Once I left La Maison Blanche, I invited Alienor over to drink and take cocaine.

And I told her about my romantic affair I had at the hospital.

She didn’t seem surprised. She told me that another female patient had sexual relations with a nurse there too, and she wondered if it was the same nurse. So did I.

We sent a message to the girl in question and asked her to describe the male nurse she had relations with.

It was him. Paul. And she was 17.

— —

This suddenly felt wrong and I had to tell someone. So I told my mother about Paul and also Jacques.

She was really angry. More so about Paul the nurse than Jacques. But I felt the opposite.

I didn’t feel taken advantage of by Paul. But Jaques really hurt me.

My mother wanted me to report both of them to the police, so I did.

— —

My parents didn’t trust me living alone in such a big city so far away. I needed help.

In May 2019 I want to Rehab for alcohol and cocaine addiction.

I spent one month there. It was much nicer than the hospital. They had a ping-ping table, a chess set and many more activities.

I spent a month in Rehab and it was really nice to be away from alcohol.

Alcohol affected me in bad ways.

I would say so many things I regret. I would hurt myself and make bad decisions.

I drank so much that when I didn’t, I would uncontrollably shake and feel faintish.

Rehab made me want to stop forever.

— —

My mother would visit me often and it was lovely to see her. She was very supportive.

After leaving Rehab, it was time for me to leave Paris forever and move back in with my parents down South of France.

I needed to not be alone. I needed help.

— —

I moved back into my old bedroom with my vinyls and The White Stripes posters. It was comforting.

I was now taking more medication : Paroxetine (20mg) and Abilify (5mg).

And it was making me feel better.

My mother wanted me to see one of the best therapists in France.

So I started seeing a new psychiatrist in Bordeaux, FR (1h away by train) every two weeks.

At first we did not get along.

I wanted him to help me forget about my ex, but he explained that it was not possible to forget the past, you must accept it as part of you, like a scar.

He wanted me start writing about my feelings in a journal. I was not good at it and did not enjoy it. But I did it anyway.

— —

A few months later, I was starting to feel much better and stronger.

My therapist was really helping me, and so was my family.

I decided it was time to find a job near my parents house.

In October 2019, I found a job as an Exhibition Assistant for a company in events.

I was saving up to move to Sydney, Australia. To start a new life far away. To a place I’ve always wanted to go to.

I’ve never been to Australia but didn’t care.

— —

Working for this company was not fun, and a lot of pressure. They wanted to me make a minimum of 200 phone calls a day. And I hated being on the phone.

I told my therapist about my job being very pressurizing and he told me to quite and move to Sydney sooner.

That sounded like a great plan! I was so happy about this decision.

I went home and bought myself a Working Holiday Visa.

— —

My psychiatrist decided it was time to stop my medication as I was doing really well.

So I stopped them gradually.

The withdraw effects were a nightmare.

I was sweating, felt nauseous, had diarrhea, felt extremely emotional…

But that only lasted for about 2 weeks.

I was so happy that I wasn’t taking any medication anymore!

I felt on top of the world.

— —

For New Years Eve, I decided to go see my old friends from when I was doing my Sound Engineering course.

I told them about what had happened to me, and I could see it made them sad. They told me that I was such a happy person before. That I didn’t deserve this.

I told them I was fine now and that it was in the past.

I didn’t drink on NYE and they respected that. But I felt odd. I felt numb for some reason. They loved me so much and expressed it. But I didn’t seem to feel the same way. I used to. But not anymore. I didn’t feel love for anyone and that worried me. I felt like a ghost.

— —

My mother picked me up and could tell that I was different.

I went to work the following day and did not feel well at all.

I could feel it all coming back. I was so scared and ashamed of relapsing. But I knew I was.

I told my boss that I wasn’t feeling well and she let me go home.

I got back home and told my parents : I think I’m depressed again…

— —

I saw my therapist again and every session he would read what I wrote.

This was the last time I wrote in my diary.

He closed my black book and called my mother in.

He told me I needed to go back to a psychiatric hospital.

— —

My parents drove me back home from Bordeaux after that session and we packed a suitcase and went to the nearest psychiatric hospital. La Candelie in Agen.

I remember hearing my therapist on the phone to the hospital telling them I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I had no idea what that was.

— —

I arrived at La Candelie and spent 7 weeks there.

I was not in a good state of mind.

I tried hanging myself multiple times there in the shower but couldn’t let go of all of my weight by bending my legs. I just couldn’t.

I cut myself often and managed to bring in Vodka.

It was a mess.

— —

They put me in the isolation room for one night.

The isolation room was horrific.

They gave me paper pajamas that would rip with the slightest movement.

The door was locked and I had a bucket to pee in.

I was not allowed a pillow or a blanket. It was so cold and my pajamas were ripped everywhere.

The next morning, I saw a psychiatrist from the hospital and told him that I was fine and just being dramatic. I did not want to go back there.

— —

After 7 long weeks I was finally allowed out.

It was a long time.

I was now on even more medication : Paroxetine, Abilify, Tercian, Alprazolam and Mirtazapine.

I felt so numb. Better, but numb.

Australia was not an option anymore. Not for a while anyway.

— —

Once I left the hospital, I was obliged to have a nurse come to my parents house every morning and evening to make sure that I take all my medication properly.

I also had to go a psychological-medical center once a week.

I got tired of explaining what happened when, where and why. It was hard to remember. So I decided to write all the bullet points down on a piece of paper.

— —

· Where am I now?

Today is the 13th of May 2021. I still suffer from my mental illness even though I wish it was all in the past.

I’m currently taking Mirtazapine, Abilify and Alprazolam and only see a nurse once a week to restock on medication.

My therapist appointments have been elongated to once a month.

I haven’t self harmed in about a year.

I do however still have episodes with suicidal thoughts, but they are less severe.

My therapist from Paris once told me that you will have ups and downs, but with time the ups will be less up and the downs less down.

It’s starting to make sense now.

I currently live in a small city called Agen (30m drive from my parents house) with my boyfriend Yann. He’s the best.

We met through an old friend of mine that I reconnected with last year.

I still don’t have many friends where I live, as they are all over the place (Montpellier, London and Paris)

— —

My mother took an online course about Borderline Personality Disorder, which I really appreciate. I feel like maybe she understands a part of me more.

— —

Julie left Paris and moved to Montpellier to become a Yoga instructor. She and her boyfriend are still together, building their new life in the South of France.

— —

Yolo is still in Paris, she recently got a job as a video editor for a cool company. She’s doing great.

— —

Pri is still in London, not as an Au Pair anymore but as a chef by day, and an Art Salon organizer by night. She’s always been very productive and I admire that.

— —

Alienor unfortunately is back in the hospital in Paris, La Maison Blanche, as she tried to commit suicide by jumping off of a bridge above train rails. She lost both of her legs and one arm, but thankfully survived.

— —

The criminal cases concerning Jacques and Paul the nurse, are still going on. It’s been a very long process but I hope it ends soon.

— —

I don’t have any news at all regarding Julien and do not plan on having any.

— —

· Why am I writing this?

Like I wrote at the beginning of this, longer than expected text, about my mental health, I am writing this for me, my family and friends and hopefully others who may relate to it and seek help if they need it.

I often mentioned that I felt under control of the situation, but I was wrong. So maybe someone reading this might make the decision to seek help.

I have no words to describe how thankful I am to the people who helped me.

This is not a suicide note, it’s the opposite. It’s a “life” note.

A note to remind me that some days can be nice and happy, but others can be very, very hard. But you must go on. You must keep on fighting. It might seem like an endless battle but it gets better.

Sometimes that’s hard to see. But I see it now.

[stringergames]

Downtime Roleplay 1 - A Gentle Ribbing

Post Episode 2 - No Smoke Without Fire

Set as group take a short rest to recover somewhat from their first experiences in the strange house they’ve found themselves in. Magpie and Jem tentatively discuss the situation, and how they first met. Fox butts in.

Spoiler warnings: references events from the first two episodes of Edge of Night

Content warnings: depiction of injury (broken ribs, minor burns, exhaustion); self-harm (scratching); references to violence; references to inter-party conflict; references to murder; references to fantasy racism; discussion of horror/paranormal elements; swearing

Magpie sits in a corner, leaving the chairs for the others. His eyes are unfocused, and he occasionally winces at the pain from his ribs if he moves wrong. His ungloved hands are half-clasped in front of him, one anxiously scratching at the back of the other, reddening and irritating the skin.

Jem slumps onto the ground next to Magpie, not close enough to be considered friendly, but not on the other side of the room, as instinct says she should. This man intrigues her. Professional curiosity, that's all. But curiosity nonetheless. What kind of person offers help to someone who stabbed them?

"That looks uncomfortable." She gestures towards his hand.

Magpie focuses in on the present, and looks first at Jem, and then down at his hands. He stops picking at his skin, and hides the redness with his other hand.

"Unconscious habit. It's nothing, really." His voice is hoarse, and tends to trail off at the ends of sentences, as though he struggles to get all the words out before his throat gives up.

"I, uh, I guess the ribs don't help either, huh?" Jem has the decency to look sheepish, although her words are far from an actual apology.

Magpie laughs, a slight wheeze to it, and then winces. 

"No, they certainly don't, but they'll heal. One way or another. Doubt I look as rough as you do though. How are you holding up?"

Jem frowns. Laughter wasn't exactly the response that she was expecting. Nor was sympathy. 

"I'm fine. I don't need your pity." She pauses for a second, considers it, and then adds, "I feel like I haven't slept in four days, and my dress is ruined, so I'm not on my best form, I suppose."

Magpie quirks a smile, and leans back against the wall with a sigh. 

"It's a shame, it was a nice dress." He pauses a moment, and then changes tack. "I've heard of dangerous mists, but more in the sense of 'you might not see this cliff edge,' than the mists themselves doing something like this. I wish I knew what was going on."

Jem nods. "It's definitely outside my sphere of reference, but then again so are haunted houses, reanimated boars, and waking up in closets I definitely didn't go to sleep in."

Magpie hums a noise of agreement, and looks over at her. "It's a bizarre place. I woke up in a master bedroom of some kind. Imposing paintings on the wall and everything."

Jem stares at him for a moment. She isn't a sharer. But something about this stranger is oddly compelling. And, she reasons, she's delirious at best. 

"I woke up twice. The second time was in the cupboard, but the first time was... somewhere else entirely."

"Somewhere else? Do you know where it was?" Magpie's hand begins subtly scratching at the back of his other one again. He doesn't seem to notice, and is instead looking curiously her way.

"I'm not sure it was a ‘somewhere’ at all actually." Jem notices the scratching, but says nothing, lost in her own anxiety as she considers the deal she made in her panic. "It was just darkness, oppressively warm darkness, like being in a starless desert. And there were sparks coming from nowhere every so often. One got me." She turns her head so that Magpie can see the slight burn on her cheek.

He looks, and quirks an eyebrow. "Very strange. This whole situation just keeps spiralling further into the unknown, doesn't it? What made you wake up here instead of staying there?"

Delirious or not, Jem isn't about to admit to making dodgy deals with voices she couldn't identify. 

"Not sure. I don't even know if I could have stayed there. This place definitely isn't any better though. What do you think of the ankle-biters?"

"The children? I don't know. They seem strange. They don't want to come back into the house, sure, but they don't seem as scared as you would expect. Regardless of the fog, and the boars coming back to life, this whole place feels off somehow. The room I woke up in was full of cobwebs and disused. None of us know how we got here. None of it seems... trustworthy somehow, and while I do think we should help them, I don't know what to think of them."

"I'll tell you this much, their concept of time ain't right. There's no way that a family was actively living in this place yesterday. Which makes me doubly suspicious of the fresh food and the fires, they don't match up."

Magpie nods his agreement. "I don't see what else we can do though. We can't leave, and we've got to try something. I don't want to be stuck here forever, so the best we can do is try and effect a change. A monster in the basement looks like a solid start to trying to get rid of harmful fog and reanimating taxidermy."

"I've always found that hitting something hard effects a change of some sort. Positive or negative, it won't be the same."

Magpie's eyes flick down to his chest briefly, and he hums noncommittally. "I think that's probably true."

Ah fuck. Jem decides to give up on making conversation and goes back to concentrating on not falling asleep against the wall.

Magpie chuckles, and nudges her with his elbow. "Look, if you stab someone, you've got to accept it may come up in conversation sometimes, but I'm not angry. We have much bigger problems on our hands I think, and besides, I think you might have done me a favour."

Jem jumps at the contact. "Well, that's certainly a unique reaction. How exactly, if ya don't mind me askin'?"

"I'm right in thinking it wasn't me you were after?"

"If it were, you'd be dead." Jem smiles.

"It could just be where we are, I suppose, but something doesn't feel right." He pulls his sleeve back slightly, exposing more of the white tattoos that can be seen on his face and neck, brushing his fingertips over them and then digging his nails in. "Did you manage it? Or were you caught before you could?"

Jem remembers the sickening crunch of Farthen's boot on Lord Creighton's skull. 

"I think it's safe to say that he won't be giving orders or making racist comments any more. I'm good at my job, and I don't often mix business and pleasure, but I can't help but feel like that racist prick is no great loss to anyone."

A bitter grin spreads across Magpie's face, and his nails dig deeper into his arm. 

"Good." 

His expression brightens a little, some of the darkness that crept into his eyes fleeing again, but a malicious tint still plays at the edges of his expression. "See? You did me a favour."

Jem watches the danger in his grin, and an almost matching smile spreads across her own face. "Then you're welcome, I guess. And for what it's worth, I think you're the least irritating of the lot, so far."

"You're not so bad yourself, for a noble." He laughs again, and then winces, and curls in on himself a bit.

"Ah, yes. About that..." Jem trails off with a shrug. "It's a good cover, but hardly worth it here. I don't think I caught your name at the gala, and I feel fairly certain that the one you got for me was... inaccurate. If we're going to work together for any length of time, we ought to clear that up. I'm Jemima. Jemima Linden."

Fox glances over his shoulder. 

"Absolutely shameful," he tuts. "Impersonating a noble. For shame. I, as a Lord, am outraged."

Jemima actually laughs at this. "The hat is fooling nobody, ginger."

Magpie stops halfway through introducing himself as Fox interjects, and catches himself, starting again. 

"Magpie. Just Magpie." He looks over his shoulder at Fox, and then whispers to Jem, "I didn't know he was a lord. He definitely doesn't act like one."

Jem doesn't bother to whisper back. "If he's a lord, I'll eat his stupid hat."

"You keep away from my hat. I need some of my lordly dignity preserved." He looks from Jemima to Magpie, and gives a mock bow, almost losing the hat in the process. "Lord Fox Ripley, at your service."

"Oh goodness, well in that case," Jem starts to laugh again. "I'd curtsey, but standing is difficult and also I don't believe you."

Fox smiles, and shrugs. "Believe what you like, Ms. Linden. I've got nothing to prove. And as you say, what's a title mean here anyway? I assure you though, red heads can be lords."

"Do forgive me, my Lord," Jem smirks. "I'm sure you're right. What would a commoner like myself know about such things anyway?"

"I'm sure you'll catch up, Princess," Fox says, matching the smirk.

Jem's eyes flash dangerously at the nickname, but she can't help the small amount of actual mirth that curls around the corners of her mouth as she looks pointedly at his ears. 

"I look forward to it, my Lord."

*

Written by Nick Drew, Francesca Forrest & Rowan E. Madden.

Edited by Rowan E. Madden

Edge of Night is a dnd 5e actual play podcast, brought to you by Stringer Games. It is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts & Acast.

[thelighthousemp3]

Hey girrrl! First of all, I wanted to thank u for posting your fics. I've been struggling with anxiety and reading dianetti fics helps a lot! Second, can you write a fic settled after episode 18 of the second season, where Gina and Rosa go together to the Beyonce concert they won tickets for, and there they start to realize their feelings towards each other?

hi!! thank you for this prompt!! read on ao3 or below

Gina snatches the Beyonce tickets and waves them ecstatically in front of Rosa’s face, exclaiming something about how they’re her god-given right to own. Rosa simply smiles; she’s happy that the tickets landed with Gina. Gina’s the most enthusiastic person about Beyonce that Rosa has ever known.

To be fair, Rosa doesn’t know many Beyonce enthusiasts. She does her best to not get out much. But judging from Gina’s twitter feed (yes, she’s seen Gina’s twitter), Gina’s the most enthusiastic about Beyonce.

So yeah, Rosa Diaz has some thoughts on Gina Linetti and some on Beyonce. Who’s to judge her?? Everyone has quite a few thoughts on Gina Linetti (and Beyonce). Yeah, so Rosa’ll (never) admit that she’s listened to a few Beyonce songs upon Gina’s recommendation, even though Rosa never takes recommendations from anyone. But that doesn’t say anything.

Oh, it totally does say something. It screams that “Rosa Diaz is super gay for Gina Linetti!!”

It’s not something Rosa’s proud of. She could have decided to subtly crush on anyone, but her damn heart chose Gina freaking Linetti. The human form of the 100 emoji. The most dangerous person (next to Rosa) in the precinct. And Rosa knows that if Gina likes her back, they’d have the ability to take over the world (all while holding hands).

“Hey. Hey. Hey,” Gina says, waving her drink in front of Rosa’s face. “Snap out of it, Diaz. What’re you thinking about that’s more important than me, anyways?”

Rosa blinks a few times before taking a gulp of beer. “Hmm?” she mumbles, redirecting her focus to Gina’s face.

“Hey, sorry that you didn’t win the tickets. You know, because your boyfriend likes Beyonce so much.” Gina pulls a face of (fake) sympathy towards Rosa, who shrugs.

“No problem. They’re your god-given right,” she says. Truth be told, Rosa’s boyfriend doesn’t exist. When Captain Holt had pitched the riddle, Rosa had thought of Gina immediately upon seeing the Beyonce tickets. And that was why she had wanted to win the tickets so badly. She had wanted to take Gina to the concert, not some fake made-up boyfriend.

(Rosa had a whole story planned out. She would have invited Gina to the concert and made up some lie about her boyfriend cancelling. Then they’d go to the concert, and at the end, Rosa would tell Gina that she had dumped her boyfriend over text.)

“Rosa! Rosa!” Gina snaps her fingers in front of Rosa’s face, interrupting the detective’s thoughts once again. “Seriously, girl! Is there something really more important on your mind than me?”

Rosa rolls her eyes; she’s not going to admit that she was just thinking about Gina. “I mean, if the tickets mean so much to you… nah, I don’t like your boyfriend,” Gina says, pursing her lips.

Rosa squints at Gina. “Really? You haven’t even met him!” she says. The boyfriend may be fake, but Rosa’s still offended. She whisks a shot of tequila away from Jake and downs it.

“Well, I do know him well enough to know that he’s fake,” Gina mumbles.

Rosa’s eyes widen. “What? How do you know that, huh?” she demands, satisfied to see Gina grow a little bit smaller under intimidation.

“I just know, Rosie,” Gina says, squaring her shoulders with confidence. “I’m a better detective than all of you.”

“You don’t know that,” Rosa accuses.

Gina ignores this and just asks, “Why’d you want the Beyonce tickets, anyways?”

“If you’re such a good detective, then why don’t you just figure it out?” Rosa snaps.

Gina seems to ponder over this statement for a few moments. She takes a sip of her drink before looking Rosa in the eye. “Huh, Rosie, I don’t know,” she smiles. “But why don’t you take the extra ticket and come to the Beyonce concert with me on Sunday, hmmm?”

Rosa clenches her fists, bewildered. She blinks a few times. “Um, yeah, sure,” she stammers.

Gina grins widely. “That’s what I thought,” she says, snatching Rosa’s beer and taking a gulp. “See, I’m a really great detective. Don’t ask, okay, boo? I’ll pick you up on Sunday.”

“But―”

“I know where you live,” Gina says.

“Stalker,” Rosa mumbles under her breath. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Amy dancing. Rosa quickly swipes the drink that Hank the bartender passes towards Amy, hoping to save everyone from the embarrassment of four drink Amy.

“Not a stalker,” Gina corrects. “Just very informed about everyone’s lives.”

Rosa rolls her eyes and grabs her beer back from Gina. She puts the bottle to her lips and takes a long draught, finishing the bottle off. “Gotta go,” Rosa gasps as she slides off of the bar stool and heads towards the exit to grab a cab.

“M'kay!” Gina calls after her. “Wear something nice!”

Rosa tries to avoid thinking about the heat rising to her cheeks as she quickly gets into a taxi, intending to crash as soon as she gets home.

The next day goes by uneventfully. Rosa stays boarded up in her apartment, ignoring seventeen memes from Jake, fifty-six texts from Charles, one email from Amy, and (unfortunately) nothing from Gina. She idly flips through the channels on the TV, sighing every so often and checking her phone to see if Gina’s texted her anything.

Nothing.

Rosa pulls her laptop closer and opens Spotify. She quickly logs in with Gina’s password (Gina has premium, okay? No ads. Don’t judge Rosa for having access to Gina’s Spotify) and within a few minutes, Beyonce’s newest album is blaring through Rosa’s apartment.

She doesn’t know when exactly she falls asleep, but she wakes up a few hours later with her phone blown up with notifications. Ten new memes from Jake, twenty-seven new texts from Jake, one new email from Amy, and… three new texts from Gina Linetti. Rosa ignores everything else on her phone and quickly opens the texts from Gina.

Gina: bitch stop using my spotify

Gina: i know ur listening to beyonce and while its a very sweet gesture i’d like to use my spotify now

Gina: u can listen to beyonce at the concert with me tomorrow

Rosa rolls her eyes and presses the home button on her phone, leaving Gina’s texts on read. She logs out of Gina’s Spotify and pushes her laptop away.

The day seems to pass incredibly slowly. Rosa can’t wait for the sky to go black so that she can collapse in bed after a day of absolutely no productivity.

Sleep comes to her sooner than she had expected. Shortly after sunset, Rosa falls asleep on her couch, resulting in several uncomfortable positions and stiff muscles. Oh, and also waking up at the literal crack of dawn the next day.

She still has many hours before Gina’s supposed to come and pick her up. Rosa decides to go for a ride on her motorcycle, hoping that it’ll take her mind off of Gina Linetti.

For a few hours, it seems to work. It’s just Rosa, the road, her bike, and the wind.

And then she decides to grab a coffee. She runs into Charles, and the first thing that he says is, “heard you’re going to the Beyonce concert with Gina!”

Rosa squints her eyes at him. “How’d you know that?” she asks.

Charles puffs his chest out. “I’m a detective, of course,” he says, taking a sip of coffee. Rosa stares him down for a few seconds before he deflates. “Okay, okay! Gina told Jake and Jake told five-drink Amy and five-drink Amy told me! And I may have accidentally slipped it into the Boyle weekly newsletter! Sorry, Rosa, but you and Gina would just be so cute together!”

Rosa sighs heavily. She grabs her coffee from the counter and drops a few crumpled bills in its place, swiftly turning around and heading out of the coffee place.

As soon as Rosa gets home, she decides to text Gina.

Rosa: u told jake we were going to the concert?? and he told amy who told charles who told everyone??

Gina: chill rosie

Gina: not my fault charles is a blabbermouth

Rosa: but u told jake?? who told amy who told charles??

Gina: i can tell jake bc he’s my best friend

Gina: can’t blame him for having a big crush on that amy girl he’ll tell her anything

Gina: and when that girl gets drunk she can literally do anything

Gina: can’t wait for the concert tho

Rosa: it’s not a date!! why is everyone saying it’s a date???

Gina: literally did not say that in any of my texts but okay

Rosa: no!! charles thinks it’s a date!!! so now everyone does!!!!!!!

Gina: ur using way too many exclamation points n it’s scaring me

Gina: if u don’t want it to be a date then it doesn’t have to be

Rosa: oh my god all i wanna do is see beyonce

Gina: yeah with me i know

Rosa: no!!!! who said that!!!! stop listening to charles!!!!

Gina: okay okay rosa chill okay?? ur really scaring me with the exclamation points

Gina: don’t murder anyone okay

Rosa: fine whatever but i’m THIS close

Gina: so ur still coming to the concert with me tho right

Rosa: fine

Rosa’s phone dings with a new notification. With irritation, Rosa reads it to see a new email from Amy. And then without knowing why, Rosa taps on it and opens Amy’s email.

And then she’s hurling a knife at the wall because Amy’s forwarded her an article that Charles has written on Rosa and Gina’s relationship. There is a whole paragraph about “unseen sexual tension” and then another on “what their babies would look like.” The email is signed off with a long apology from Amy.

Evening doesn’t come soon enough. Rosa’s already slightly tipsy by the time Gina comes to pick her up.

“This is my nice leather jacket,” Rosa mumbles as she opens the door, remembering Gina’s comment about wearing something nice.

“Are you drunk?”

“Did you read Charles’s article?”

“I don’t read those. I’m too dignified.”

Rosa lets out a strangling noise from her throat. “Yeah? Well, so am I, but that article is a ton of bullshit! Why is everyone all up in our business?”

“Oh, Rosie.” Gina pats Rosa’s arm a few times. “Drink this.” She thrusts a water bottle into Rosa’s hand. “You gotta sober up, girl! Or else you won’t remember the truly thrilling experience of going to a Beyonce concert with Gina freaking Linetti!”

Rosa chugs down about a fourth of the water bottle before looking hesitantly at Gina. “Why am I doing this?” she mumbles.

“Seeing Beyonce? Because it’s an experience, Rosa. And it’s the best thing ever, okay? You can’t back out now, so let’s go!” And with that, Gina tugs Rosa out of the apartment.

The car ride goes by quickly. Rosa ends up finishing the rest of the water, and by the time they get to the concert, she can feel her senses coming back to her.

Gina drags her through the line at the entrance, flashing the concert tickets at the security guard. “I’m also a celebrity, so I get in anyways,” she preens.

“That’s not true,” Rosa mutters under her breath. She tries not to think about Gina’s fingers digging into her wrist as they walk into the filled concert venue.

Somehow, Gina manages to get them to the front (It has a lot to do with Rosa’s intimidating aura, but Gina will claim that it’s because of her celebrity status).

And then Beyonce Knowles gets on stage and everyone goes completely wild. Maybe it’s the blinding lights or the wind that rushes through the room from the big fans or because of the alcohol still in her system, but Rosa’s feeling the ecstasy in the place as well.

Beyonce’s singing some song that Rosa knows she’s definitely heard but Rosa’s attention isn’t fully on Beyonce. Her gaze is fixed to Gina Linetti, the other popstar in the room. And she’s watching how happy Gina looks when her own lips turn upwards and a smile blossoms to her face.

Gina’s eyes dart to Rosa for a moment before returning to Beyonce. And then she notices that Rosa’s not watching Beyonce, and she turns back to Rosa. “What are you doing!” Gina says loudly. “You should be watching Beyonce!”

“Mhmm,” Rosa mumbles under the music. She halfheartedly looks to the stage. When Rosa’s sure that Gina’s attention is transfixed to Beyonce, Rosa sneaks a look at Gina again. Gina’s mouthing the words to Beyonce’s song now.

And then someone pushes next to Gina and Gina momentarily loses her balance, stumbling right into Rosa’s arms. Rosa’s eyes widen in response as Gina looks up at her, breathless. “Good catch, Rosie,” Gina says and returns her gaze to Beyonce.

But Rosa’s eyes never leave Gina. Not when she stops Gina from attempting to join Beyonce on stage and not when Beyonce dives into the crowd and everything seems to go loud and fluorescent. Not until the very end of the concert, when she loses Gina in the crowd for a minute when Gina scurries after Beyonce to get a selfie.

And then she can’t find Gina, even though people are making way for Rosa (because she’s scary, you know) and she’s calling Gina’s name in desperation.

Rosa finally gives up and somehow heads out of the venue, towards where Gina’s car is parked. She leans on the hood for a minute before her legs get tired and she jumps up to sit on the hood of the car.

“Rosa!”

She looks up to the sound of her name being called and sees Gina trying to run/limp towards the car with a single heel in her hand. Rosa slides off of the hood of the car and rushes over to help Gina to the car.

Instead of getting in the car, Gina sits on top of the hood and pats the empty area next to her. “Sit,” she says, so Rosa joins her. Gina starts unstrapping her other shoe, so Rosa idly stares out to the night.

“How was the concert?” Gina asks a beat later. Both of her shoes dangle from one hand.

“Huh? Yeah, it was good,” Rosa says.

Gina frowns. “You’re a liar,” she decides.

Rosa stares at Gina. “What?” she asks with disbelief in her voice. “It was Beyonce. Of course it was good.”

“It was Beyonce! It was fucking fantastic! Amazing! Unbelievable! Not just good,” Gina says. “And you weren’t even watching half the time. Yeah, Diaz. When you stare at me and think I don’t notice, I do notice. Ugh, wait till we go see Rihanna.”

“I don’t wanna make this a whole thing,” Rosa says hurriedly, preparing to get off of the car. Gina’s arm flies out in front of Rosa’s chest, abruptly stopping her.

“You don’t, but I do.”

Rosa looks at Gina with a bewildered expression on her face. “What?” she asks carefully.

“C'mon, Rosa! We both know that if we joined forces, we could take over the world! While holding hands and locking lips!” Gina says, rolling her eyes at Rosa’s expression.

“What?”

“You are an actual idiot. I thought you were a detective. Yet, here I, Gina Linetti, sit, trying to explain the most basic concept to an allegedly smart detective,” Gina sighs. “You like me. I like you. Wanna make out?”

“What about everyone at the precinct―”

“Blackmail files? Uh, duh! And my naturally beautiful and intimidating aura combined with your terrifying presence is sure to make them all shut up,” Gina reasons. “What do you say, Rosie?”

“I don’t know? Kiss me?” Rosa says.

So Gina does, and it turns out to be a great night.

[goldenhemmings]

Good as Gold | College!Shawn (Part Two)

Part Two to my College/Fratboy Shawn series. I kinda snapped and made this one 3.2k (which I know isn’t long for some of y’all but it’s long for me). Enjoy how quickly I got this bitch up because I have no idea where I’m taking part 3. You can read part one here :-)

The second you got up to your dorm room after a quick stop at the dining hall for a late lunch, you reached for your phone to call your best friend, Harper. You had known Harper since you two ended up sitting next to each other in your freshman year Finance class, and by chance she was already working at Alchemy when you got hired. It was the perfect coincidence that essentially guaranteed that the two of you would be best friends.

“This is Harper, how can I help you?” she queried as she picked up the phone.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s me, Harp.”

“I know,” she giggled from the other line. Classic Harper. “I’m just messin’. What’s up?”

“So it’s a long story, but basically we’re going to a frat party tonight.” At this, Harper burst out laughing. “Harper!” you whined. “I’m serious.”

“I’m not opposed, you know that I will totally go, I’m just confused. I have spent two years trying to get you to go to one single frat party with me and I can literally hear you roll your eyes every time I bring it up. What changed?”

You sighed. “Okay, so I was having a really rough day because I failed my English Lit exam because I didn’t have time to study because my roommate--”

“Y/N,” Harper interjected, and you halted your rambling. “Normal speed, so I can understand.”

“Sorry,” you giggled. Harper was always on your case about your tendency to talk incoherently fast when you were excited or telling a story, but you were glad she kept you in check; no one else ever did. “I’ll shorten it. Basically, for a lot of reasons, today sucked. So, when I was walking out of my last class a little while ago, I got really flustered and frustrated. I was trying to find a kind of secluded place to sit down and compose myself, and I saw this random table behind the health center.”

“O-kay,” Harper said, dragging out the word to show that she followed you thus far.

“So I go over to sit and put my head down, and then this random guy sits across from me, saying I was ‘in his spot.’ Except he was actually just being friendly, and I totally snapped at him, but he was still so nice to me. Basically, we got to talking, and not only is he one of the single most attractive guys I have ever seen, but he’s actually sweet. And smart. And a music major.” Harper hummed in understanding on the other side of the phone; she knew where this was going. “And...he’s in a frat. And he told me I should come to their party tonight. And I said I’d bring friends, which is where you come in.”

“Okay, not only am I wicked happy for you,” Harper began, and you could hear the smile in her voice, “But I cannot wait to actually get you to a frat party!”

You laughed, appreciative as ever of Harper and her ceaseless energy. You glanced at the alarm clock on your desk, reading the glowing red 4:12 p.m. “Come over around seven to help me get ready?”

“Say no more. I’ll be there in t-minus three hours. See ya soon, sugarplum.” You chuckled, and with that hung up the phone and flopped down onto your bed, no longer having to restrain your childish smile.

Always punctual, a fully-ready Harper burst through the door to your dorm room at seven o’clock on the dot. “Where’s the roomie?” she queried as she tightened her thick brunette ponytail, looking around the room and seemingly inspecting whether or not it had changed since she was last there. It hadn’t.

“Her backpack was here when I got back from class, but she wasn’t. Probably just dropped her stuff off and went straight to a friend’s to get ready to go out,” you shrugged. You liked your roommate, you really did, but she was a party animal through and through. You didn’t mind on the weekends; you yourself went out all the time on weekends. But when her coming home trashed on a school night led you to do poorly on an exam...that’s where the problem came in.

“Hm,” Harper assented, flinging a stuffed-to-capacity black and pink tote bag onto your bed. Your eyes widened.

“Geez, Harp, what did you do? Bring half your closet?”

“You asked me to help you get ready!” she cried. “I take that very seriously.”

“I already know what I’m wearing,” you defended.

Harper folded her arms across her chest, jutting her hip out. “Let’s see it.”

You rolled your eyes and walked over to your tiny closet, pulling out a black short-sleeved henley bodysuit and black ripped jeans, with a flannel for around your waist. You looked over at Harper, tossing the ensemble onto your bed triumphantly.

“It’s cute, Y/N, but we’re going to a frat party. And, more importantly, you are meeting music boy there.”

“Shawn,” you corrected, and Harper laughed.

“Okay, you are meeting Shawn there, whatever. Which means you’re gonna have to come up with something a little hotter than that.” She gestured to the outfit you had laid out.

“Harper,” you warned, already apprehensive. You dressed well, but showing skin wasn’t necessarily your forte; it just wasn’t your style. But, if anyone was going to force you into something new, it was Harper.

“Relax, Y/N! You’ll thank me later,” she said breezily, walking over to her bag and reaching inside to pull out black denim shorts and an off-shoulder maroon crop top.

“Pick one or the other,” you pleaded with her. “We’ll compromise. I’ll either wear that shirt with my jeans, or my shirt with your shorts.”

Harper pursed her lips, thinking, before tossing the top at you. “Try this one.”

“Thanks, Harp,” you sighed, changing into her maroon top and your black jeans, throwing on a pair of black chunky-heeled booties. Once you were all dressed, you turned to face Harper, and she squealed.

“Look at you!” she exclaimed, grabbing your wrist and scooting you over to stand in front of the full-length mirror over your door. You gave a small smile, glad that Harper had agreed to compromise. Your jeans were high waisted, so it made up a little bit for how cropped the shirt was. You were still showing skin, which satisfied Harper, but you were happy, too. With some earrings, a black choker, and Harper’s magic touch with makeup, you were both ready to go.

After making the fifteen-minute walk to Shawn’s fraternity house, deciding to save a little money by not Ubering, your nerves began to set in. You could hear the party before you could see it, and Harper seemed to sense your hesitancy. “Breathe,” she said to you, offering a reassuring smile. “You look great, and he will like you. If you get overwhelmed, just come get me and I’ll walk outside with you. I’ll stay by where the drinks are so you know where to find me.”

“Thanks, Harp,” you said, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze as the two of you approached the house’s entrance. Immediately, the smell of beer was everywhere. This level of the house was quite large, but empty save for a few couches arranged around a coffee table in the middle. There was a small group of guys standing near the door, and one called out that the party was downstairs in the basement, gesturing to a staircase on the far right side of the large room. You smiled and walked up to the guy that had spoken, a tuft of red hair peeking out from underneath his backward baseball cap. You cleared your throat to get his attention. “Um, do you know where I could find Shawn?”

He exchanged a knowing look with the guy next to him, spiking your pulse, before he turned to face you. “Downstairs, should be by the speakers. He’s on aux.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, laughing to yourself. They made the music boy DJ.

You and Harper walked down the wooden stairs into the party, slick with what you assumed was freshly spilled beer. The music, some rap song, was deafening, and people were packed in tightly as they danced with various kinds of drinks in their hands.

“I love Travis Scott!” Harper cried, and you scoffed in bemusement; of course she recognized the song. “Let’s go get a drink!” she yelled into your ear so that you could hear her. She grabbed your hand and pulled you forward as you both began to weave through the mass of people. Your eyes searched for Shawn, but you couldn’t find him through everyone.

Before you knew what was happening, Harper was shoving some fruity can of alcohol at you and telling you to down it, to which you happily obliged. Nothing wrong with a little liquid courage. You handed the empty can back to her and she gave you another drink, which you cracked open and began to slowly sip on.

You grabbed Harper’s wrist with your free hand, leading her towards the source of the music. Once you broke through the crowd, you were met with the sight of Shawn sitting on top of the massive box speaker that his phone was connected to by an aux cord, his inked hand scrolling through Spotify and his other one fisting through his tousled brown curls. His cheeks were flushed with slight intoxication and sheened ever-so-slightly with sweat as his head subtly nodded along to the bass of the song, his lips slightly parted. The same black skinny jeans as before hugged his legs in the most perfect way, and a solid white muscle t-shirt highlighted his biceps and revealed another tattoo on his forearm that you hadn’t noticed before. He looked like a dream.

You were broken from your trance by Harper tugging you back so hard that your still-full drink sloshed out of the can and onto your jeans a little bit, to which she offered you a sheepish smile to apologize before unleashing her trademark Harper energy on you.

“Is that him?” she squealed in excitement, her jaw slack as her eyes took Shawn’s perfect figure in. You nodded and pulled your drink to your lips, unable to hold back your smile. “Holy shit, Y/N, get your ass over there!” And, without warning, she had shoved you in Shawn’s direction and you were stumbling over to him as he looked up and caught your eye, smiling that golden smile of his.

“Y/N! You made it!” he cried, setting his phone down and jumping up to pull you into a bear hug. You cried out in surprise at the forwardness, then breathed a sigh of relief as your hands quickly wrapped around his waist to hug him back before the two of you broke apart.

You placed your hand on his bicep and spoke into his ear so that he could hear you over the music. “I didn’t expect Travis Scott from a guitar-slinging music major,” you teased, eliciting a laugh from Shawn, who in turn placed his hand on your waist and leaned down to your level.

“Gotta give the people what they want,” he replied, his rosy cheeks lifting into a smile, which you returned involuntarily. “I need another drink, come with me?”

“What about the music?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

“I’ve got a whole playlist queued up,” he brushed off. “It’s set for the rest of the night.”

“Okay then,” you giggled, taking the hand that Shawn had reached out to you so as not to lose him as he pulled you back through the crowd. You could feel your cheeks get hot as he unexpectedly intertwined his long fingers with yours, and you were thankful for the low lighting of the party so that he wouldn’t be able to tell.

Once on the other side of the room, the two of you had reached the “bar,” which was really just a long countertop with two frat guys behind it handing out alcohol left and right. Shawn gently let go of your hand and leaned over the counter, talking to one of the guys as the other fetched him a drink, and you noticed Harper right where she said she’d be, twirling the ends of her ponytail as she was lost in a flirty conversation with a broad-shouldered guy in a baseball jersey.

Shawn turned to you as he took the first sip from his red solo cup, nodding towards the can in your hand. “Are you good on yours?”

You nodded, walking over to the side of the room next to the bar and pressing your back against the wall. “For now.”

“Cool,” Shawn said, stepping towards you and extending his arm to place one hand on the wall next to your head. Even in the darkness of the room, you could see the gleam in his eyes that seemed to be backlit by gold. “You look good, by the way,” he continued, and you felt your heart rate quicken. “Meant to tell you that earlier.”

“Thanks,” you said, blushing, barely loud enough for him to hear as you averted your gaze, taking a swig of your drink. Liquid courage, liquid courage, liquid courage. “So do you.”

He grinned, never once sparing you from the heat of his eyes boring into you. “Do you wanna go to the third floor?” he asked suddenly, his finger absentmindedly tapping against the side of his solo cup. “There will still be people, but it might be a little quieter. There’s a balcony we can go on. Only if you want.”

“Sure,” you smiled, and Shawn turned his back to lead the way up. You immediately downed the rest of your drink the second his back was turned and set the empty can down on the counter where you noticed Shawn had put his still half-full cup. He turned over his shoulder to make sure you were following him, once again reaching his hand out for you to take. This time, it was you that tangled your fingers with his, and you felt him squeeze your hand ever so slightly as you did. The butterflies in your stomach were more like animals in a cage.

You walked up the first flight of stairs back onto the level you entered the house from, careful not to slip on any of the various mystery-liquid puddles covering the wood. The same guys from earlier were still standing by the door, and all started calling out to Shawn when they noticed the two of you heading for the second flight of stairs. Sensing your apprehension, Shawn squeezed your hand reassuringly. “Ignore them,” he said, and you gave a small smile.

He was right that there would still be people on the top floor of the house, but he was also right that it would be infinitely quieter. He pulled you out onto the balcony where there were a few other people, but he led the way to the far left corner of the banister. You leaned over and looked at all the people on the street who were drunkenly making their way from one fraternity party to the next. You felt Shawn lean down next to you, and you both laughed as a drunk girl lost her shoe and fell onto her knees as the rest of her equally as inebriated friends laughed out loud at her mishap.

You turned to face him so that you were both leaning sideways against the balcony railing, and you noticed him distractedly fidgeting with the dark gray pendant around his neck. You stuck a finger out to point at it. “What’s on your necklace?” He looked down to realize that he had been toying with it and then dropped it so it lay flat against his chest.

“It’s a Saint Christopher pendant from my grandma,” he said softly, smiling at what you assumed was a very fond memory. “She said I needed it to protect me because I was traveling so far away for college.”

“Because he’s the patron of travelers,” you finished, looking up at him and batting your eyelashes. He quirked his head at you, silently asking how you knew that off the top of your head. “When I bought my first car,” you explained, “My mom gave me a St. Christopher coin to keep in the glove box. Said it would keep me safe wherever life took me.”

“No way,” Shawn responded, beaming down at you.

“Yes way,” you giggled. “It looks just like the pendant on your necklace.”

Shawn smiled down at you, his soft amber eyes aglow with energy and admiration. “Some coincidence,” he said, barely audible, his voice trailing off at the end. Before you knew what was happening, he was reaching a tentative hand out towards your face and tucking a stray lock of your curled hair behind your ear. You froze and you felt your breath catch in your throat as he gently, ever so slowly trailed his fingertips around the back of your ear and slid them along your jawline, his thumb reaching up to slowly brush the side of your cheek. His eyes, seemingly in slow motion, glanced from your eyes, down to your lips, and back up again. He used his pointer finger and his thumb to delicately lift your chin up towards him and, tantalizingly slowly, he leaned in until his lips were softly pressing against yours. He moved his hands down to place them on either side of your hips, and you felt yourself relax into him. No longer paralyzed with nerves, you reached one hand out to his waist and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, the other hand tangling itself in the hair at the base of his neck, giving a little tug in response to him pulling you closer so that you were flush against his chest. What had started as soft and gentle rapidly evolved into steamy and rushed, and as his tongue met yours your mind was clouded with the cinnamon and whiskey on his breath. After what was probably a long time but felt like seconds, you pulled away and laid your hands on his chest and your forehead against his, your hearts racing as you both tried to catch your breath.

“Should we go back downstairs?” he whispered, your foreheads still pressed together. You could feel his breath on your cheek as his fingertips skimmed up and down your waist.

“Harper’s probably wondering where I am,” you sighed, skin hot and tingly with Shawn’s touch.

“My friends, too,” he replied. He pulled his head back, staring down at you with the most perfect closed-mouth smile, then reached up to cup your face and plant one more chaste kiss to your lips.

He reached out a hand as he had before, beaming down at you with his trademark, made-of-gold grin. “Shall we?”

“Such a gentleman,” you laughed, taking his hand and wrapping your free hand around his arm. “We shall.”

[niel-trbl]

Genie by golden child

hi hello! sorry this came in a little late but i finally had a good idea for this song and it was a dream i had last night so if part of it don’t make sense or just seems weird, it’s due to that. thank you so much for requesting and hope you enjoy reading this one!

you were waiting in a cab to head home with a few friends after a long day

after a few minutes or so, you saw your friends making their way into the cab

your eyes grew large the moment you saw Chan

“no no please dont let him sit beside me,” you thought to yourself

almost as if he read your mind, he slide in to your left then greeting you bashfully

it wasnt that you didnt like him

in fact, you had a pretty big crush on him

both of you are good friends but everytime he gets close to you, your heart just goes BA-DUM BA-DUM

you had always thought of confessing but it always ends up being hidden in the pages of your diary

“youre heading home too?” you managed to bravely ask, in which he replied with a nod and the cutest smile

it was a pretty long ride so you whipped out your ipad to start sketching while everyone did their own thing

for awhile, you noticed that only both of you were in hoodies

(he was in that gray hoodie from the I AM NOT promos)

(hence the gif)

(anw back to our regular programme)

you felt someone nudge your left shoulder

Chan gave you a thumbs up after pointing at your sketch

at this point you were absolutely red

people complimenting your works already makes you shy

Chan complimenting your works? you just get extremely shy and extremely red

after awhile you decided to listen to music so you started searching for your earphones

in that moment when he had offered to share his earphones and listen to his playlist with him, you found it

he immediately pulled back, almost pretending that it didnt happened

you felt bad coz you saw him extending his hand to offer you his earphones

what a sweet guy :(

so you tapped his hand and gestured that you wanted listen to his playlist together

Chan subtly (read: not so subtly) held up a fist as a sign of victory

both of you grooved to his playlist together

(btw in the dream we were listening to a soft rock hip-hop-ish beat (?) - it was prolly something he had produced)

(also a random note: if you guys are curious about what kind of music genres im into, Chan’s spotify playlist is a great example! a lot of my favs are in it too)

in the midst of listening to the playlist, you gathered some courage and asked him

“wna go to mcdonalds later?”

“yea sure!! yay maccas!!!” he cheered a little too loud, earning looks from your friends beside both of you

but that didnt matter - Chan just said yes to hanging out with you!!!

while he was busy using his phone for a bit, you slid down your seat then nudged your friend on your right

“what does Chan like?” you whispered to them

they just laughed at you

a little after that, you had finally reached your destination

while everyone parted ways, you and Chan made your way to your family apartment so that you can drop off your stuff then change into something more simple

you thought nobody was in so you quickly got to your room to change after telling Chan that he can feel free to look around the house

while you got ready, your annoying sibling suddenly surprised you in your room

“what are you doing here?!”

“more like, what are you doing here? is that your boyfriend downstairs?” they asked you back

“no…… he’s, a friend!!”

your sibling gave you a look

“okay fine, i really like this guy. but please just let me have this moment! this is my first time going out with someone,”

(if this was irl, it honestly would only be my third or fourth time going out with someone like that)

just as both of you got to the living room, you saw that Chan found the closet and was trying to put on every coat available

“is it supposed to be a date?” your sibling asked quietly

“i… i dont know? i literally just asked him to grab mcdonalds with me and that’s it. while we are on it, i wouldn’t mind it being a date with him,”

you quickly helped him out of the coats then asked if he wanted a change of clothing since it was pretty warm

he shook his head then saying that he has a t-shirt underneath so he can just remove his hoodie later on if he wants to

with that, both of you made your way to mcdonalds

along the way, you bumped into your mutual friend, Hani, and talked for a bit

when she heard where you were heading to, she immediately said that she wanted to tag along - in which both you and Chan just reluctantly said yes

just as you were about to cross the street, you bumped into an old friend of yours

before you started talking to them, you turned to Chan and mouthed “sorry” in which he replied with an understanding nod

since they were heading the same direction, they decided to walk with you

“who is the cute one?”

“that’s Chan. we were supposed to be out alone,”

“oh, i meant the annoying girl. im kidding! omg was it supposed to be a date for you guys?”

“i dont know i guess?! we were supposed to be together then she came along and then you appeared so i guess this is how it is. no offence really,”

“im so sorry man. but one thing for sure is that i wont be with yall,”

“but she’s there!”

“so? just ditch her,”

when your friend parted ways, you thought about what they said

you thought of a plan then quickly got up to chan and whispered it to him

“if that’s what you want, your wish is my command,” he sneakily grinned to you

both of you suggested to head to a mall nearby

a little disclaimer - that mall is known to be quite a maze

thankfully for you, you’ve been there many times to know your way out but she didn’t need to know that

Hani didnt see anything weird with it so she was up for the plan

as you were making rounds around the mall, you pretended to lose her then quickly made your way to mcdonalds

when she texted you, you just said you couldnt find your way back to her so you left

both of you felt bad for doing that to her

“let’s order another meal, in favour of her. maybe that wont feel as bad?” chan suggested

(lets be real - Chan just wants an extra meal and coincidentally, this was a great opportunity to get an extra one)

you never realised it but ever since you walked around the mall to escaping the mall then to mcdonalds, Chan had been holding onto your hand

even you felt really shy about it, it felt nice and natural so you just let it be

the whole time you were at mcdonalds, you had so much fun, eating, laughing and even building a fries tower

soon enough it was already time to head back home

why did time had to go by so fast :(

of course, you being you, thought it wasn’t gonna be cold that night but it did so you were shivering in your t-shirt

Chan suddenly stopped his tracks, removed his hoodie then put it on you before holding your hand again

“thanks,” you said

“no problem, anything for you,” he replied with blush dusting his cheeks

aAaaaAaAAAaAh that’s so cute

both of you continued walking till you reached your apartment door

“oh right, your hoodie,” you tried to remove the hoodie

“no it’s fine! you can keep it. you look really nice with it,” he held onto your hand to prevent you from removing it

both of you just looked at one another

what felt like ages was in fact just a few seconds

Chan suddenly leaned in closer to your face

“can i kiss you?” you shyly nodded to his question

just as he got closer to you, you felt your palms sweaty, your heart racing and your face burning up

“what are you doing?” the door suddenly opened, revealing your annoying sibling

both of you quickly backed away from one another

you said good night then headed in

after you chased your sibling away, you quickly looked through peephole and saw that Chan was still outside, looking a little upset and embarassed

without warning, you opened the door again then kissed Chan on the cheek before closing the door again

what you didnt get to see was how happy Chan got after that happened, doing his little victory dance once again

[jadeargents]

ig live — getting ready with me.

Checking if she was live, Jade smiled towards the camera as she raised her hand for a moment. “Hi everyone. Sorry for not announcing this live beforehand, but I didn’t know I was doing this until like five minutes ago. I’m getting ready to go out and I thought it would be a good idea to talk with you and answer some questions while I’m doing that.” She looked through her make up bag, taking only a moment of searching before she found the foundation. “I’ve already applied the primer, I’m gonna do foundation now. You can go ahead and ask anything you wanna know, as long as it’s not too personal.”

“How are you?” She read, a smile appearing on her features. “That’s nice of you to ask that first. I’m great, honestly. Living my best life. I’m writing a lot of songs, spending time with some of my favorite people, being on tour and singing my music... can’t imagine a better life right now.” Looking in the mirror she began applying the foundation, though she paused immediately after. “Disclaimer, I’m not a make up artist. I don’t know if I’m doing this the right way, I’m just mirroring what I’ve seen my own make up artist do.” Continuing, she didn’t say anything else until she finished the coverage. 

“Moving onto concealer now,” she stated as she opened the liquid concealer and applied a few lines under her eyes. She then turned towards her phone to read the next question. “What songs have I been obsessed with lately? Hold on.” Grabbing her computer, she opened her most recent Spotify playlist. “Bloodline by Denise is my fucking jam, she’s incredible. The entire album is great, honestly. Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me by Luana is also a favorite.” Seeing some of Julian’s songs on there, she decided it was time to close the playlist. She had given them enough reasons to believe they’re together without saying one of her favorite songs is a song that was written about her. “There’s a lot of them I like. I can make a playlist if you guys are interested.” She finished dabbing the concealer then moved onto the next question.  

“Have I written a song with anyone lately?” Choosing a light pink blush for her next move, she selected the right brush from her set and lightly applied the make up over her cheekbones at the same time as she replied. “I’ve written a song with Ofelia, and another one with Chasity and they’ll both be released eventually, in case you’re wondering.” She didn’t mention the other person she’s been writing songs with, since she knew they wouldn’t let it go for the rest of the live if she did. 

“Twitter or Instagram?” An uncomfortable smile appeared on her lips. “You don’t want my answer to that, I’m going to be mean.” Closing her blush, she looked towards the camera. “In all honesty, I prefer actual human interaction. Social media is great for interacting with fans, but it’s not my favorite. That’s why I’ve been distancing myself from Twitter lately. I’ve just found I feel much better when I prioritize spending time with people and limit the time I spend on my phone. If there’s a piece of advice you should take from me, it’s that one.”

Grabbing her highlighter, she looked towards her phone again to read the next question before focusing on the makeup. “Would I accept acting in a film?” Jade shrugged her shoulders. “I'm not sure. Depends if the film meant a lot to me. I would definitely have to take some acting classes before that, but why not?” She stopped applying her highlighter, setting down her brush for a moment. “Though I have to point out I wouldn’t push my singing career aside. Music is the priority, no matter what else is there.” Once she finished with that step, she chose a palette of gold tones and continued with the eyeshadow. 

“What do I think about what headlines are saying about me?” She huffed, shaking her head subtly. She was staring in the mirror as she applied her eyeshadow, but that didn’t last long because she couldn’t prevent herself from staring at the camera as she voiced her thoughts. “Frankly, I don’t give a fuck. You can quote me on that. I’m living my life and I’m being myself, and if that bothers anyone, it’s not my problem. I’m happy where I am right now and I’m not going to let anything ruin that for me.”

Reading the comments she received after her statement, her hand instinctively went to her chest, showcasing a mix of emotions on her expression. “I’m truly touched by your support, guys.” A smile appeared on her lips as she went back to adding the finishing touches to her eyeshadow. “Though I have to say you’re making me laugh with your reactions to me saying I’m happy. I didn’t think that was possible either, but what do you know? Maybe life doesn’t have a personal vendetta against me after all. Maybe I should’ve just been more patient, but well, I trust that everything happens for a reason. I’m thankful for the state of mind I’m in right now, and that’s all that counts.”

“Where’s Julian? How would I know?” A chuckle left her lips, as she began applying her eyeliner. “I don’t track him. That’s not a healthy…” she stopped, looking straight at the camera with an amused smile, “… friendship.” She continued tracing her eyeliner as if she hadn’t said anything out of common, that made the comments on her phone suddenly increase. She didn’t say anything as she waited for them to calm down, so she could go back to answering questions.

“What’s the last movie I’ve seen?” She stopped for a moment, looking towards the ceiling as she was thinking. A smile appeared on her lips as she remembered. “Funny enough, it was with Julian. We watched “The Nun” at an open air cinema event in London.” Jade read the comments, a disbelieving smile on her lips, then responded to them as she put on mascara. “Bold of you guys to assume I need someone to hold me during horror movies. I’m not afraid of them. Or anything for that matter. I’m pretty much fearless.” Except emotions, but she wouldn’t mention that. She wouldn’t tell them that she did spend that night in Julian’s arms, not because she was afraid, but because she liked being close to him.

Applying red lipstick, she then looked towards her comments. A huff left her lips as her eyes read the question. They were unbelievable. “Am I meeting Julian? Yes, I am,” she said, “I am also meeting Luana and Chasity, that doesn’t change that I’m putting on make up for myself, not for him, or anyone else I’m seeing today.” She sighed, putting her make up bag aside to look straight at the camera. “I think we’ve covered enough the subject that women do not dress or put on make up for men for you to stop insinuating at this point. You can do better.”

“You know, I should have a feminist podcast,” she said, looking through her comments and expecting to see a lot of negativity, yet that wasn’t the case. They were all encouraging and excited which kind of made her feel bad for getting their hopes up. “That was a joke. Sorry, I would, but I literally don’t know how that would fit into my schedule,” she responded, shaking her head softly with an apologetic smile. “Besides, I think I’d get too frustrated with the issues discussed and that’s not an advantage when the purpose is getting educated. You should be taught about feminism from someone who has patience, meanwhile I’m gonna keep ranting about these problems on Instagram and Twitter.” She ended her explanation with a smile, feeling much more calm when explaining herself.  

“What’s my favorite shade of lipstick? The one I’m wearing right now, actually.” Inspecting what the label was saying, she then approached the lipstick to the camera. “It’s the Fenty Beauty Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick, in the shade of Royal Red, called Madamn.” 

She removed the accessory that was holding most of her hair back. “What do I have planned for the future career wise?” She smiled as she began styling strands of her hair into waves. “I’m glad you specified what future you mean, because personal life future, I couldn’t have told you.” Realizing what she just said, she closed her eyes for a second, breathing in. She should be more careful with the way she worded things. “Because I don’t know what the future has reserved for me in that aspect, not because there’s a particular event that would happen in the future.” The last thing she needed was people sending videos of her to Julian asking him if he proposed or asking him when they were getting married. “Anyway, back to the question. I can’t tell too much, but I’m preparing for the European leg for All The Stars World Tour as you know. I’m also writing a lot, and I’ve already filmed the first two music videos for the fourth album. I can’t reveal anything about the release date right now, but you know, I’ll keep you posted.”

Once she finished with the hair, she attached it in a way that it wasn’t standing in her face, but still was cascading down her back. “Last question,” she announced as she looked through the comments until she found a good one. “What was my favorite concert I’ve performed during this tour?” There was no hesitation there, a genuine smile appearing on her lips. “New York City.” There was no doubt why. Julian was at her concert that night, and having him backstage when they hadn’t seen each other in more than a month made her feel so happy. However, she needed to divert the fans’ attention from that. “New York is one of my favorite cities, and the energy there is just incredible.” She wasn’t lying, but there were other cities where she performed that were memorable too — New York stood out because of her significant other being there. She smiled as she thought about how in love she was. It wasn’t getting less surreal with time. 

“Thanks for keeping me company as I was getting ready. I’ll keep you updated on my outfit later when I’ll post a photo. Hope the rest of your day will be good. Take care.”

[theperfectlyunstable]

rt#77 - embracing being “basic”

hi anonymous readers, it's your basic white girl again.

honestly, i have this essay idea long before, but i just never got the time to write it, i don't really remember why, probably because i got lazy, stressed, or maybe on a tumblr writer's block. anyway, i'm here to tell you something, again.

so i'm watching my current favorite series, The Mindy Project, when an episode played where a man left Mindy, the main character, for being too cliché, being on a “mainstream” radar, being easily guessed, for always having a popular opinion, basically being the stereotypical basic trait.

there's this scene where he guessed that her favorite artist is Katy Perry, which really made me realize that I am kind of the same. i then went scrolling on my spotify playlists and most played songs, and 75% of them are several popular songs and artists. which made me ask myself "am i really a literal clone of your stereotypical basic girl?”

i browsed on my favorite films, and most of them are the blockbusters. i went to the people i followed on social media, and most of them are the popular artists. i looked back on my interests, and most of them are the most typical ones.

is this my personality? how am i gonna be able to be taken seriously if this is what i chose to be a preference? why didn't i choose to explore on the complex side of things? is this my peak?

then i came to a realization, that maybe this is okay? maybe there's nothing wrong with not exploring deep enough because i'm already satisfied with what i have? maybe there no more reason for me to take a dive on something better because i'm okay with being what people say...the "epitome of mediocrity"?

of course being simple and comfortable is not the problem, but the connotations on being "basic" is. the society that built itself on subtly labeling someone as "uninteresting" is the problem. a society that thrives on superiority complex is the problem.

and that is why i chose to embrace the branding "basic white girl". yes, i know all the popular songs. yes, i'm more interested in pop culture than the independent scene. should that be an issue? never in a million years.

of course staying on your comfort zone is great, and exploring on your interest is also great. but we shouldn't judge and underestimate people on their interests and life choices, because we all know all of us have the capabilities to explore, it's not that hard, but some people chose not to, because not everyone demands to be different. some are already settled. and this isn’t only because i’m defending myself, but because that was the truth.

i like ariana grande, does that make me any less of a music person? no. you love independent acts, does that make you any more of a music person? no. i love pop culture, does that make my worth any less? no. you love classical theater, does that make your worth even higher? no. i love staying in my comfort zone, you love exploring on your interests, all in all, we're just the same speck of dust in the universe.

because guess what, we're all basic. we're all sheeps. we just don't want to acknowledge it. we're all just a data in someone else's demographic count. whatever interesting things you think you have, may not be enough for somebody else to call you an interesting person, that's the irony kicking in.

in conclusion, what matters is we shouldn't force our superiority complex on each other, because somebody else will always be better than you on the things you like, somebody will always be more knowledgable than you on the interests that you chose to adopt, but that will never make your worth any less.

so.... let me be basic in peace?

[only-loveher]

Vibes and Chill

As corny as it sounds, I really couldn’t come up with a better name for it other than “Vibes and Chill”, because it’s not only really chill, but each song is so … vibes man! I put it together not knowing some of the artists, and sometimes after only one listen of the song. Some of the songs have a strong R&B element and the kind of swagger that makes your head float above most of the problems of the day. Others have the kind of electronic contemporary elements that make up chill house music, that creep up your spine and soothe your bones. Some of them are acoustic, and some of them are straight out of funk town, but as much as they vary in genre, they all seem to produce the same effect: that of lowering blood pressure, decreasing heart rate, and letting the mind fall into a pillow of sounds. Listening to it almost inspires you to have the coolest get together with all your friends and have the playlist playing in the background (before you realize most of those friends are in your head and the music has embedded itself into your in-brain stereo). The playlist can also be a weird mix wanting to sink into a deep relaxation (either because you’re under the influence and the music is that chill) and wanting to bob your at the same time. Regardless, it’s great for when you’re alone, with a friend(s), or even with a significant other; I really don’t think there’s a bad time to listen to it at all.

1. Safe - Bay Ledges

Safe was the first song I put into the playlist, and was the song that really inspired me to create the playlist in the first place. I stumbled upon it while scouring the world that is Spotify playlists and immediately fell in love. Now that I think about it, the opening of the song really gets the whole collection of music started perfectly, with the band counting into the first measures of the song (“2, 3, 4..”). It opens acoustically, but takes a sudden turn where the track skips for a measure before heading into the song. It eventually develops into a greatly produced track filled with electronic nuances that sound straight out of an MGMT track. While the lyrics are pretty visual, the song itself just seems open, almost like you’re running through a field with your favorite person (my dog, in this case); they take you anywhere you want to go, not only where the singer suggests (“We could fly to the moon”). One of the more vibey songs in the playlist, it seems great for any activity really.

2. Second Nature - Stalking Gia

This song is another one of those that I stumbled upon in a Spotify playlist. What got me hooked was the bass line that the song opens with. It sounds like a pretty bare song at first, with only about three instruments present until about the pre-chorus; even the chorus is pretty bare itself, until you listen to it for about the 3rd time and notice the subtle guitar lines and chords that progress and get a little more intricate throughout the song. It’s really the groove of the song that really gets to me, and is one of the songs in the playlist that can guarantee a head bob or a tapping of the feet. It’s also one of the songs that I can immediately relax to; the singer’s voice is pretty dreamy, and she almost seems to refer to that in the chorus (“If it feels like a dream, then it is one”). This song would definitely fit under the really chill category in the playlist.

3. Escape - Zoology

I can actually remember which playlist I found this song on! I’m a guitar player who really likes to dip into a wide variety of genres when playing, and I’d never really dipped into jazz up til this point, so I found a playlist called “Pickup Jazz” and stumbled upon this song in it. It struck me as weird how this song would fit into jazz, but genres are pointless in my opinion. Regardless, I fell in love with the intricacy of the guitarist’s playing, and the immediate vibe of the song, so I couldn’t help putting it in the playlist. When I listen to it, I almost feel like I should be wearing my vacation shirt, sipping a non-alcoholic beverage (lol who am I kidding) out of a coconut, on a beach, sitting under the shade of the palm tree whose coconut I just stole. It just really gives off island-type, tropical vibes. This is taking away from the fact that song is literally about escaping the real world, and the woman’s voice is way too sweet to ever make me deny her request in the chorus (“Let me be your escape”). Another vibey song that seems great for really any situation. This band, in general, makes some really vibey (wish I knew another word for vibey) music; after this song, I really got into the guitarist of the band.

4. Auburn - Brahny

This song is probably the most R&B the playlist will get; again depending on one’s interpretation of genres, which I think are pointless, but I digress. This track is one of the smoothest of the playlist, and it would make sense it was written about a lady, because what else would make you write such a baby-making track. Even the singer’s transition from a low-pitched verse to a high-pitched chorus is pretty darn smooth. It seems easy for him, contrary to how difficult it may be to win over the woman he’s singing to (“Tell all your friends it’s worth it”). This song is one of those stumbled upon on a random playlist on Spotify, but it was a great find. It’s easy to relax to, lending to its’ extreme chill quality, and is also pretty good at setting a mood, like any R&B track. The guitar might be my favorite part of the track, as sparse as it may be throughout the track, and how biased that might sound.

5. I Don’t Trust Myself (With Loving You) - John Mayer

I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t include a Mayer track, especially in a “Vibes and Chill” environment! His whole discography might as well be “vibes and chill”, but I’m getting ahead of myself. His ability to blend R&B, soul, and the blues all into one of the greatest tracks he’s probably ever written lends to the fact that this track is super vibey and super chill at the same time. I’ve listened to this song in many stages of my life: sober, not sober, in a low place, in a high place, and it never fails to emit the same aura every single time. The entire song sounds so effortless, from his harmony with his own guitar in the chorus, to the horn section that backs him towards the end of the song. Even the beginning riff, as muffled as it is with effects, just sounds so colorful. The solo is probably one of the smoothest he’s ever played, as if B.B King gave Marvin Gaye a guitar and said “sing”. This song can come up at whatever time of day and it will immediately launch me into a head bobbing groove that I can’t even control at this point. I haven’t spoken much about lyrics to this point, and I won’t start now. This song definitely fits in both the vibes and chill category.

6. Billy - Drama Duo

It’s not a coincidence that this song comes after the Mayer song. The first time I listened to it, it immediately gave off Mayer vibes for some reason. It may have been the lyrics, it may have been instruments being used, it may have been the way the singer was singing, but just for some reason I just figured Mayer would jump on a track like this, or even write one similar himself. But enough about him. This song is one of the coolest I’ve heard in awhile, and just another song Spotify has had the honor of gracing my ears (this whole article might as well just be a plug for Spotify’s great music). While the Duo don’t both sing, it sure sounds like they do with the lead singer’s layering of multiple voices and ad libs; she really makes it sound like a duet, but it may just be reverb or an echo effect. This song is another one of the R&B vibes in the playlist, and based off of what “Pickup Jazz” thinks is jazz (“Escape” - Zoology), this could definitely be thrown into that genre too, why not! Most of the instruments emit soothing sensations, and while the drum beat is subtly intricate, it adds to the groovy vibe of the song. Another one of the songs in this playlist that is just vibes and chill at the same time.

7. In The Midst Of It All - Tom Misch, Sam Wills

Tom Misch is a genius producer, I’ve grown to find. He’s also one of the sickest guitarists that I’ve run into in a while. This song is just another example of how good he really is. While the song builds up slowly, the beat that takes off as a chorus of some sort is not only entrancing, but also extremely cozy, as if I could read a book next to a fire with this in the background. You can recognize his R&B/jazz roots with the chord progression and the guitar solo at the end. His playing is always extremely melodic and colorful, making for easy listening really. There’s this bell he adds to the song that seems like it has the ability to sneak into my dreams if I tried to fall asleep to it. This song is definitely one of the chiller ones on the playlist.

These songs have never failed to really set a certain tone for my daily life, whenever I do decide to put them on. They lead to comfort, to relaxation, and make for some great music to a good time. While the collection may imply I seem to lead a very chill life, my life would beg to differ. A big reason for this playlist is to have something to fall back on when life gets too crazy, sort of a safety net. The greatest safety net in my opinion is music.

[thesoundthread-blog]

BEST  MUSIC OF JANUARY

With streaming making listening to music so easy and so many artists dropping readily available music every week, it’s sometimes overwhelming. 

That’s what we’re here for. The boys of The Sound Thread will compile a top ten list for you each month with our favourite tracks. We may not always agree, but we will always provide you with quality music. Enjoy our first playlist and Download it directly to your phone below:

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/user/12160583826/playlist/03XVCDQK4Y3WvVqQERMlzT

Apple Music:

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/playlist/sound-thread-january-2017/idpl.65ac9c30dcc44b72b80225987fb51834

Here is our list for the month of January. Let us know what you think!

Agree? Disagree? What would you add or take out?

10. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran

Jeremy: I’ve always been a big Ed Sheeran fan. I feel like he is one of the few guys in the acoustic genre who is blurring boundaries and pushing music forward. He isn’t afraid to be himself and he is definitely not afraid to experiment. On this tune Ed takes you back to his childhood and gives you memories that after listening to this song, you may even feel like you lived yourself. This song is perfect for listening to on a plane ride back home or to make you think of all of the awful life shaping mistakes you made in the 9th grade.

Jared: It is so great to hear from Ed again after his romantically induced hiatus. Out of his two new releases I definitely prefer Castle On The Hill, as it is less pop influenced and more closely resembles some of my favourite songs from him. The line “Singing to Tiny Dancer” also really hits home with me as I can picture myself on numerous occasions screaming Elton John lyrics while driving.

9. Undercover - Kehlani

Jonny: I’m gonna be honest, Kehlani was on my bad side when she cheated on Kyrie Irving. Dude gets buuuuuuuuckets. Anyways, it was hard to stay mad at her after listening to her new album “SweetSexySavage”. Undercover is just the stand out song, there are 3-4 songs that could've easily made this list but Julian is a douchebag so we had to limit it to one. This song takes a page from Akon as it samples the 2006 hit “Don’t Matter”. Do yourself a favour and listen to this album, you will go through the entire emotional spectrum.

Julian: Cheated on Kyrie… WHACK

Jeremy: Okay, so even though this song is only at number 9, this is the most controversial song on the playlist. Jonny and I had to fight pretty hard to get this one on the list at all. You can be the judge after listening to it for yourself, but I think this is forsure one of Kehlani’s best songs overall and one of the best songs off of her (in my opinion) incredible album. Here is where my Bias may be coming in. The song that she samples is “Don’t Matter” by Akon and “Don’t Matter” by Akon was like my theme song in grade 10 when I was dating my sister’s friend because “they didn’t want to see us together - but it don’t matter no cause I got you.” So I may just be getting over-emotional. “One way or another, I’mma” make sure this song gets the love it deserves. Sorry fellas.

Jared: Worst song on the list. Akon is cool though. 8. Tempted - Jazz Cartier

Jonny: I’m getting this out of the way quickly, THIS IS NOT PARTYNEXTDOOR. But if you like PND, Jazz’s style is similar and is also from Toronto. Although this is a love song it also hits hard. Hopefully this jam becoming a consistent go-to track in clubs across Canada. I could easily see myself getting curved multiple times while this song is playing. Can't wait. :)

Jared: Over the past couple years Jazz Cartier, or as he sometimes goes by “Jacuzzi Cartier” has gained clout throughout rap scene. The Toronto artist has made it own his own without a cosign from Drake and has caught the eye of many, ironically including Young Money superstar Lil Wayne. His new track “Tempted” is an absolute banger and is sure to set the tone in any situation that involves getting fired up. 7. Drew Barrymore - SZA

Jonny: This song has nothing to do with Drew Barrymore. Despite the confusion it was my most played song this month for this playlist. Her lyrics: “Somebody get the tacos / Somebody get spark the blunt / Let’s start the night of at episode one.” sounds like a damn good night to me. Taking netflix and chill to a whole new level. Kendrick Lamar found a diamond in the rough in SZA and his a huge addition to the TDE family.

Jared: I have yet to figure out why this song is titled “Drew Barrymore”. Regardless, the track by TDE’s first lady is one of my favourite releases from her thus far. Since seeing SZA perform live at Squamish Valley Music Festival in 2015 while she was sporting a retro Vancouver Grizzlies jersey as if it were a dress, I have been a fan. Although the lyrical content of this song is actually quite depressing, I still enjoy hearing from SZA and am excited for her new project. 6. Saved - Khalid

Julian: My opinion, Khalid has one of the most refreshing voices in the music industry right now. “Saved” has the same ingredients of greatness that has worked on his other singles like “Location.” The song features lyrics that tell a story and an instrumental that is a pleasant change of pace from trap/bass driven tracks lately.

Jared: As of recently I have been religiously listening to Khalid on a day-to-day basis. Although the 18 year old from Texas has only released a handful of songs, he has an extremely bright future ahead of him, in my opinion. His voice is diverse in the sense that each one of his songs gives a different vibe and has appeal for different situations. In this track he discusses how he is still not over his ex and how down that makes him feel, while in other songs such as “Let’s Go” the approach he takes is more positive and results in completely different song. With this track dropping and the announcement of his album (coming March 3rd) it is safe to say that I’m excited about this young talent’s presence on the music scene. 5. Sideline Number – Russ

Julian: While I will probably never relate to Russ's problem of needing another phone number to deal with the group of women who want to have sex with him, I still really enjoyed this song. Out of all the songs released this month I actually think i've listened to this the most. I have no idea why I like this song as much as I do, but it's incredibly catchy. After a few listens you'll be singing along to the chorus every time.

Jeremy: I don’t think there is anyone putting out quality music as frequently as Russ. The guy basically drops a hit record every two weeks. If you’re still sleeping on Russ then you should probably wake up. And if he’s not hitting you back then you may have his wrong phone, try getting his #2 line. 4. Moving on and Getting Over – John Mayer

Julian: What a tune. The vibes on this track are just so happy and bubbly. The outro with 1:15 left in this song could be played at the end of any romantic comedy movie. Every time I listen to it I just picture a scene where Joseph Gorden Levitt – while smiling, crumbles up a picture of his ex and subtly tosses it over his shoulder while walking in public (but deep down inside he’s not actually over her). I love how it sounds like an outro song, HOWEVER, it’s the intro to his EP and it sets the tone perfectly

Jeremy:  John Mayer can have sexual relations with my girlfriend and he may even convince me it was for the best. I think Julian put it best below, but there is nothing that this man cannot get away with after making such beautiful music. He has an angelic voice that comes around once in a lifetime and the guitar picking skills mixed with songwriting that can make a bird with a broken wing fly.. No correction * soar * once again. Love this EP - but I’m not actually in love with John Mayer. I just really really like him.

Jared: The part in the middle of this song where he hits those high notes is bananas!!!! #MayerSZN is in full effect baby. 3. No One Knows Me (Like My Piano) - Sampha

Julian: If you don’t know who “Sampha” is, let me help you… “DON’T THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH TOO MUCH, THERE’S NO REASON TO RUSH IT THROOOoOoOough”Yes. That was him on drake’s “too much,” which you’ve probably botched singing at the top of your lungs in your car. This song is just as emotional as that chorus, however instead of him singing gut-wrenchingly about a lover, he is singing about his piano. I haven’t heard and artist sing this emotionally about an object since Queen’s “Bicycle.” To be honest it doesn’t matter what Sampha sings about because his chillingly voice will keep me listening to every song he releases (listen to “Timmy’s Prayer). If you’re looking for a new artist please give him a listen, and add this song to your chill playlist on spotify/apple music.

Jonny: I can’t really express my feelings towards this song more than Julian did. I don’t even own a piano but I can relate to this through my Rock Band 2 drum set. Countless hours of emotion, passion and dedication with an object can become a huge part of your life and when you’re separated from it you just don’t know what to do with yourself. Sampha creates a masterpiece here where you wish you didn’t take things for granted throughout your life. Watch out for him to be a serious threat in the music game for years to come.

Jeremy: My mother does own a grand piano. I have spent some serious hours there. For me to say that no one or no thing knows like that piano would be a flat out lie. However, when Sampha says it, I believe it. I’m almost certain that he had to get a new piano after writing this song because of all of the tears that are left on every key. Listen to this song while driving alone at your own risk and make sure to call your family members and ex girlfriends after this to thank them for getting you to where you’re at today. Good call on the Bicycle reference Julian. Migos and Sampha > The Beatles and Queen.

Jared: Although I had not been listening to Sampha since his feature on Drake’s 2013 hit “Too Much”, it was a delight to hear this beautiful voice again. Considering the instrument I have invested the most time into was the recorder throughout elementary school, I cannot relate to the bond Sampha has with the piano at his mother’s home, nonetheless after hearing this song it was an obvious pick for my list. If Sampha continues to release tracks such as this one, I believe he will gain much more recognition and break the label of “that guy on that Drake song”, which he is given by many people (including myself).

2. T-Shirt - Migos

Julian: Seriously at this point forget Jordan, Pippen and Rodman, the Migos are the most iconic trio of all time. When it's all said and done the Migos will have more hits than the Beatles, and they'll have done it with one less member. All it takes is one listen of this song to have the chorus stuck in your head. The song has a very different vibe to it than other Migos tracks that are very bass heavy and full of interjections and ad-libs. If you take over the aux cord at a house party in the next few months, you have to open with this song.

Jonny: MIGOS CAN NOT LOSE. The group really found their groove on their latest album “Culture”. Easily the best album of 2017 so far in my opinion. My favourite part of this song is Quavo’s extremely catchy hook and subtly saying “Oooooouuuuu” and “Uhhhhhhh” under Takeoff and Offset’s verse’s respectively. If you didn’t think this song could get any better, watch the music video. By far one of the most hilarious things I have ever viewed.

Jeremy:  Now although my mamma never told me not to sell work, it was extremely implied in my suburban upbringing. Sentiments like “don’t do drugs” and “stay away from the bad crowd” still ring in my head when I pass by dark corners. However, if I had listened to this song back in the day, you best believe I would be running every block in the city in my white t-shirt. This song is just so hypnotic that it almost feels like you’re in a trance that could take you back to the middle ages where Quavo is the king of the land and the bass is the wake up call for the town every morning. Or maybe that’s just me.

Jared: STRAIGHT OUT NORTH ATLANTA!!!! As of recently the three boys from Georgia known as the “Migos” have been untouchable. Following the release of their platinum single “Bad And Boujee” Quavo, Takeoff and Offset have been dropping fire left and right. Although there are countless things to say about the Migos, one thing that has always stood out to me has been their use of ad-libs, and at this point I feel as though they have perfected the profound art. The combination of the trifecta’s ad-lib use and melodic flows resulted in the song “T-Shirt”, which in our opinion is one of the best songs to release in January. 1. You’re Gonna Live Forever In Me - John Mayer

Julian: Wow, what can I say about John Mayer’s new EP that hasn’t already been said about the movie “UP.” It had me crying five minutes in, and I told everyone to check it out without giving them a fair warning. I didn’t know how much I needed this song in my life till I heard it. The whistling in the track takes me back to Disney’s “Robin Hood”, and the lyrics took me back to my first break up. If John Mayer cheats on you, all he has to do is play a guitar riff and you’ll be the one apologizing. This is easily the standout track from my favourite project of the month, can’t wait for wave two of his album.

Jonny: Similar to Julian, I was instantly in tears when listening to John Mayer’s new EP, AND THIS IS ONLY PART 1 OF THE ALBUM!! MORE TO COME!!! I couldn’t help but feeling you would hear this track at the end of a Toy Story movie. Imagine this song playing, Woody holding Buzz Lightyear in his arms while he is slowing dying. My heart is shattering just thinking about it. The lyrics to this song are incredible and the whistling behind them is just the icing on the cake for the best song of the month.

Jeremy: It’s 5:00 am. I decide to listen to the new John Mayer. It seemed like a good idea. This song starts playing and I start getting flash-backs of every single girl I’ve dated since I was in middle school. Did I hurt them? Or maybe they hurt me? Either way the memories are overwhelming and I feel the need to text all of them. I group DM my exes - tell them they belong to me that goes on for forever. None of them respond. I’m left with tears and shattered dreams of relationships past. That being said, this song was my favorite experience of the month. John is a legend.

Jared: Do not listen to this song if you don’t want to cry!!! All I can say is that Mr. Mayer snapped on this track. Having been a fan of John Mayer for the last few years, I can honestly say this new EP is up to par with some of his best work. As Julian and Jonny mentioned, this song will make you feel as if you’re a character in Disney’s newest movie. You’re a bad person if you don’t like this song.

Honourable Mentions

Jonny: Running Back - Wale Feat. Lil Wayne

I know what all of you are thinking, Wale? Dude has been struggling since LeBron took his talents to South Beach (remember when all of you conveniently turned Heat fans that year?). I’m gonna be honest, I hated this song the first time I listened to it. But one night I was playing vids with my buddy Steve and he started mumbling the lyrics to this song so I’d thought to give it another listen, and it instantly got stuck in my head. In addition to that, I will take a verse from Weezy F Baby, good or bad, any day of the week. In the opening of his verse he spits: “These bitches sellin they souls / well I want my money back”, which cracked me up. Wale was one of my favourite artists in high school but his last project co-produced by Jerry Seinfeld entitled “The Album About Nothing”, didn’t work out as well as hoped, even though it was a clever idea. This song is a good step forward for Wale to get back to his roots.

Julian: Kelly Price - Migos Feat. Travis Scott

Don’t @ me, this song is an all time banger even though the other guys didn’t agree (these are the same guys who bump Ed Sheeran and Kehlani though). I will say I could easily of picked “Call Casting” as my honourable mention for the month because it’s impossible not to shout out every ad lib and interjection (BEAT IT UP) (EAT IT UP) (YEAH). While I felt this album was half 10/10 songs and half 6/10 songs I definitely feel like Kelly Price is the standout track for me - next to Bad & Boujee (the song of our generation). Travis Scott keeps impressing me more and more every year, just like the Migos.

Jeremy: All Year - Problem

I never really thought about listening to Problem. I don’t know why. But after seeing how cool he was in person I decided to give his music a real chance. And I don’t regret a thing. This song is an absolute BANGER. And after listening to it, you’ll really be questioning why you hadn’t heard it before. I think it’s a fitting way to start 2017. Thankfully Drake didn’t drop this month because we probably all would have had to put one song each from More Life as an honourable mention.

Jared: Electric (feat. Khalid)- Alina Baraz

Honestly the only reason I found out about this song is because of the Khalid feature, but nonetheless the collab between the two singers makes for one hell of a track. Something that really stands out to me about this song is the beat change ups throughout the song, specifically when Khalid starts to sing. This track is sure to take you on a rollercoaster of emotions and is one of my favourites from January.

[airadam]

Episode 121 : X

"...celebrate like a crooked capitalist..."

- Mr. Voodoo

The podcast reaches a huge landmark this month - the tenth birthday! Thank you to all of you for your support along the way. It's not easy to put together a show month after month, but when I hear from people how much they enjoy listening (especially when they've gone out and bought some of the records), it makes it all worth it.

I hope you enjoy this month's show - there are some rarities, some obscurities, and a bit of an extra-special treat! I've dipped into the vaults for some real personal favourites, so hopefully they're loved outside of the confines of my headphones!

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Run-DMC : For 10 Years

Only a short one, from their comeback "Down With The King" LP - when else was I going to have a chance to play it? :)

Natural Elements : Live It Up

Big 12" from my university days, a period when Natural Elements were already making themselves one of my all-time favourite crews. This track from the soundtrack to the not-particularly-notable film "Black Mask" was also on the B-side to the also-excellent "2 Tons", and that's a vinyl you should be able to pick up very cheaply nowadays on the used market. Charlemagne (the real one) is on the beat, and as with all NE tracks, lyrical quality is guaranteed and delivered.

[Nick Wiz] Shabaam Sahdeeq ft. Cocoa Brovaz : Every Rhyme I Write (Instrumental)

I was almost going to include the vocal version of this track (known to most from the "Soundbombing 2" mixtape), until it twigged how well the beat mixed with the NE track before it. Nick Wiz of that era was a master of blending those staccato electronic sounds with more traditional Hip-Hop drums and bass, and he's still doing his thing today. As an aside, I think me and my man Pascal may be the only two people ever to blast the "Soundbombing 2" tape while barrelling through the Budapest area in an old Trabant. True story.

Mobb Deep : Rare Species (Modus Operandi)

It's already been two years this month since Prodigy passed. For this special episode, I thought it was worth pulling out a lesser-known track which also contains one of my favourite verses of his. Those of you who know this already will be aware that it came out on the soundtrack for "Soul in the Hole" (in the fine tradition of 90s soundtrack records that barely relate to the film), but it's actually a remix to an unreleased tune called "Reach". Classic Mobb dunn business all over, but the start of that second P verse...just too good. Havoc definitely kills it on the beat, with snapping drums over the top of some subtly clever sample work.

Black Moon : Freestyle

I'd forgotten quite how aggro this was! Buckshot is solo on the mic here with that real 90s grittiness over a flawless beat from Da Beatminerz. The "War Zone" LP was very different to "Enta Da Stage" - not as jazzy, definitely a different sound - but is not one to be overlooked.

A Tribe Called Quest ft. Consequence : Mind Power

The first two tracks in this section have been pretty gully, so for the second half we keep the flow sonically but take the lyrical aggression down a few notches. "Beats, Rhymes, and Life" is an LP that had to grow on me, but this track was always up there. The lyrical quality is there, drums are crispy as you like, and it's got a jazzy feel that could easily have fit onto either of their previous two albums. 

DJ Honda & De La Soul : Trouble In The Water

Chilling things all the way out as we come to the end of this section, this is a really good De La track that may have passed some people by. From the second DJ Honda album comes this reflective song, which for me is absolutely made by that first verse, reminiscing on growing up. 

Oddisee : After Thoughts

One of the many great instrumentals on Oddisee's "The Beauty In All" album. I didn't realise until doing some research that this is unbelievably popular on Spotify, which is pleasantly surprising. It's always good to find out that people appreciate quality music that the industry isn't pushing upon them!

Mary J. Blige : Good Woman Down

I only heard this 9th Wonder-produced track recently thanks to an article from the man Gino Sorcinelli, the man behind the excellent Micro-Chop blog. Mary is someone I firmly believe will one day have a film made of her life, and she gives just a small window here on this great song from "The Breakthrough". She's been through a lot, and thank goodness, she's still here and still on her game. 

Agallah : Don't Wanna Be The Last

From around the period when Agallah was doing a lot of work with PCP/Dipset, this has been a drivetime favourite for me for the last three cars I've had! A hard one to find for quite a while, Agallah's 2004 "Doomsday" mixtape is the source for this one. Like the track that follows, if you enjoy hearing the kick drum get busy then this should be right up your street. 

Camp Lo : Cookers

Chuck D tried to tell you - B-side wins again! From the quiet period between their storming debut "Uptown Saturday Night" and their underrated sophomore release "Let's Do It Again", the "Troubleman/Cookers" 12" let the world know that the Lo were still on it! Geechi and Cheeba go back and forth with ease over Ski's beat, one that clearly drew on the EEC kick drum mountain to smack harder than most.

Fat Joe ft. Armageddon : Find Out

Is that DJ Premier on the beat? Diamond D? Buckwild, perhaps? Nope, the legend Marley Marl reminding you that he fathered sampling/beat making in the way that many other great producers would do it today. That delicate acoustic guitar loop withstands an absolute battering from the heavy drums and bass Marley puts on, and Fat Joe has no problem slicing right through the middle or it all. This is from a white label 12", but you really want to pick up the "Don Cartagena" album for this and other gems. 

Roni Size/Reprazent : Out Of The Game

Bristol, stand up! Even in the period when I really didn't mess with much drum & bass, I couldn't deny the "In The Møde" album. This hectic track was one of my favourites, largely off that moody, crime-thriller guitar riff. Smashing along at almost 180bpm, it still sounds masterfully under control.

8 Gold Rings & In The Loop MCs : Tribe Cipher

Here's a special treat for you - big thanks to Agent J and 8 Gold Rings for making it possible to include this month! The much-missed Manchester Hip-Hop club In The Loop was known not just for the great selections from DJ A-Up and Agent J, or the flavoursome hosting of Bedos, but for the monthly ciphers in which local MCs could step up and showcase their skills  - ciphers from which a lot of great local MCs have emerged. Around the time of my "Manchester Marauders" exhibition, In The Loop connected with the then-nascent band that came to be known as 8 Gold Rings, and got them to soundtrack the month's cipher with a set of live renditions of A Tribe Called Quest instrumentals. Here we have just over 20 minutes of that absolutely fire session, with 8GR playing like a live mixtape while the vocalists battle for the month's crown. 

Air Adam : Walk

An old beat I found while having a look through my archives - I couldn't hear an MC on it, but I found it's one I kept listening to so it's perfect for an instrumental bed here!

Geto Boys : Fuck A War

RIP Bushwick Bill. He had one of the more unique career paths, from dancer with the original Ghetto Boys, to MC with the reconstituted Geto Boys, solo releases, and eventually becoming a born-again Christian in a complete 180 to much of his old lyrical content. Right here, we're on the Geto Boys' second LP, "We Can't Be Stopped" (the one with the infamous album cover of Bill after he had shot himself in the eye [content warning]), and he goes solo on the mic putting the first George Bush and the Gulf War on full blast. The third verse goes a little off-piste with the message compared to the rest, and with the hook also being too short to really mix with, I did a little edit to just contain the first two verses and an instrumental outro for a nice blend.

E-40 ft. Keak da Sneak : Tell Me When To Go

"Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake 'em..." Bay Area classic material! For those of us outside the area, this was an anthem for the Hyphy movement, as E-40 and Keak lay down a little of the lifestyle - also illustrated in the wicked video. The first single from "My Ghetto Report Card" is just a certified banger, and guaranteed to make you move something. Surprisingly, the production was actually courtesy of an Atlanta native (crunk heavyweight Lil Jon), and it's almost entirely drums and percussion, with enough energy to make you want to throw something out of the window!

Zapp : Get Up Off The Wall

After the death of the great Roger Troutman, Zapp could have been forgiven for just packing up the whole thing for good. Fortunately for us, they're made of rare stuff, and after a few years off they returned. While they now are primarily concentrated on their live work, at which they are absolute masters, there have also been a couple of albums. "Zapp VI : Back By Popular Demand" gives us this track, with the air of classics like "Dance Floor". The CD is hard to find and incredibly expensive, so there's no shame in just going for a digital purchase here! 

Ilajide : Don't Fake

If you haven't got "Heet Tape" yet, you're really missing out. Clear Soul Forces' Ilajide puts all the bump into reworking a classic 80s sample (which you may recognise, but which I won't name in case it's not cleared) and shows his rhyme skills into the bargain. It's just a genuinely fun track, and the video is in the same vein :)

The Chemical Brothers : Piku

The Chemical Brothers are one of a handful of groups I actually learned about from the old PlayStation game "Wipeout", and who coincidentally started DJing in the same student halls where I started to learn the craft! "Exit Planet Dust" is still my favourite LP from their catalogue, but "Dig Your Own Hole" definitely had tracks as well. This one I'd never paid that much attention to, but after a recent listen - and on realising the classic Motown sample they snuck in there - I was pleased to gain a new appreciation for it and find a spot for it here.

Ice-T & Ice Cube : Looters

Apologies for the sound quality, but here's a real rarity here for you! This was the unreleased title track for the soundtrack of the 1992 film that was eventually titled "Trespass" - until the L.A. Uprising happened. Ice-T and Ice Cube go hard on the mic over a beat that sounds like a Sir Jinx production, though I can't be sure. More so than the final title track (which I'm a big fan of), this one explicitly covers a lot of the plot of the actual film, so if you're trying to be efficient with your time... :) I chanced across this in a London used records shop, but your best chance of getting one of the few white label bootlegs is to hit Discogs.

Ry Cooder & Jim Keltner : King Of The Street

Finally, we close with the final track on the officially-released "Trespass" soundtrack album, a rock/blues (mostly) instrumental number that was a favourite of mine from the first listen! California's Ry Cooder plays many instruments, but on this track he shows his guitar chops alongside the skills of the legendary session drummer Jim Keltner. Aggressive, dramatic, pure flames.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

  Check out this episode!